Prodigal
by Dyce
Summary: PostMiranda, the crew adjust to the changes in their lives and their 'verse. As the storms caused by the Miranda Clip escalate, the families they left behind have to be faced as a new one comes together on Serenity. Last in the Horseshoe Nails series
1. Chapter 1: Can You Go Home Again?

_**Prodigal **_

**_(Fifth and last in the Horseshoe Nails series)_ **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Firefly, its characters, its 'verse, or Joss Whedon. I make no profit from using them, and I strongly recommend that persons who enjoy fanfiction should purchase and play/read/watch/wear/consume the source material. (Doesn't someone _you_ know need a copy of Firefly, and one of the newly released Serenity Special Edition? Let's keep those sales up!) **

* * *

**Chapter 1: Can You Go Home Again? **

* * *

"Port control, this is the _Wendy_, second tug off AFC _Barrie_. We're bringing in a civilian vessel for extensive repair." Mao was the lieutenant in charge of the tug, and gave the impression that he was a fundamentally decent man who had been soaked in starch until he practically had corners. "Please supply coordinates for landing."

"How big's your civilian vessel?" The voice, though female, had a distinct resemblance to Jayne's in accent and intonation.

"She's a Firefly. Small to medium transport."

"Sending coordinates now. There a crew comes with her, or are you just dropping off?"

"Captain and crew will be dropped with the boat. Thank you, port control." Mao signed off. "You'll be on the ground inside of an hour, Captain Reynolds."

"Thanks." Mal would be glad to get off the tug. It was only mildly cramped, the tug having been designed with the necessity for evacuating small vessels before towing them away in mind. But they were under the eye of the Alliance, all the time, and Simon was fretting visibly over River and River and Jayne were still being ostentatiously glued together - and sharing a bunk, although given that it was walled off only by a curtain from the others, Mal didn't think they were doing much in it.

And Zoe was focused completely on Wash, which was understandable but left Mal without someone to discuss his vague worries with who wouldn't make him get specific about them. Wash was doing well, thankfully - Mal didn't understand above one word in three of what Simon said about the wound, but it seemed to add up to the Fed doctors having done something to speed up healing and so on, which was all to the good.

He whimpered some in the night, still, but everyone was pretending not to notice. Being attacked by Reavers... well, that'd give anyone nightmares.

Mal was trying to avoid talking to Inara. There were things he wanted to say that he wasn't going to when they were still in Alliance hands, however friendly-seeming.

"Ain't ever been to Beowulf," he said, leaning on the back of the co-pilot's chair, it being empty at the moment. "You know it?"

"I have visited some few times, sir, yes." Mao nodded stiffly. He did everything stiffly, poor man. Made Simon look downright relaxed. "It is, I believe, a fairly standard industrial planet."

"The folks down there like to be friendly?" _Friendly to us probably means unfriendly to you, and vice-versa, so I'm interested as to how you're going to answer this one, boy._

For a wonder, Mao unbent very slightly. "The people of Beowulf are... well, I believe your man Cobb is not an untypical specimen. They are militantly politically indifferent, inclined to be of good nature if not angered, and somewhat... boisterous." There was a definite hint of distaste on the man's impassive face. "I would advise that you keep your crew away from the taverns, sir."

Mal thought that over. Jayne wasn't being typically _Jayne_ at the moment, River having apparently coaxed him into a better mood than Mal had ever seen Jayne have, but Mao wasn't to know that. So... a planet full of better-natured Jaynes. "Definitely no drinking. Or fighting."

"I wouldn't advise it, sir." Mao nodded. "The majority of males over the age of sixteen - and a large number of women - work either in the mines or the factories. The last time one of my men got into a fight on Beowulf he was returned with eighteen broken bones. Counting the skull and the jaw as two. According to a number of witnesses, his assailant only punched him once."

Mal blinked. "_Once_?"

"Apparently he was knocked through a second-floor wall by the force of the blow."

Mal had been under the impression that only Jayne hit people _that_ hard. "Ah. Gotcha. Thanks, Lieutenant."

"You're welcome, sir."

Mal left the cockpit, and went to check on his crew.

Zoe was talking to Wash, and Mal kept right on walking after he heard the word 'baby'. They'd been having that discussion for a while, and he wanted no part of it ever. On balance, he sided with Wash, on account of a baby was definitely going to crimp their dangerous lifestyle a bit, but he wasn't stupid enough to tell Zoe that.

Anyway, near-death had most likely changed Wash's mind on leaving Zoe something to remember him by wasn't a plastic dinosaur.

Kaylee was napping, and he decided to let her doze until they actually landed. That always woke her up anyway.

Simon and Inara were playing a game of chess. They'd done that a lot over the last few days... they hadn't retrieved but a few clothes from Serenity, and there wasn't much to do on the tug but talk, cruise the Cortex, or play with the plastic chess-set River had begged from Book before they left. Mal had tried his hand a few times - he wasn't bad, he thought, though not in Simon or Inara's league - and late at night he'd seen River teaching Jayne how to play.

He watched them for a minute, still a little surprised at not feeling that twinge of jealousy there'd been for a while. Simon and Inara had something that Mal thought was more like his bond to Zoe than anything else. They had a bond the others on Serenity didn't share, but it had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with understanding each other.

Jayne and River were in their cubicle, the curtains partly drawn. Mal glanced in, and looked away quickly. River on her knees before a seated Jayne wasn't a mental image he wanted... although another quick glance reassured him that it wasn't what he'd thought in his first moment of panic. Their hands were twined, and she was gazing up anxiously into his face.

"I will try to make a good impression," she said, sounding worried. "I will not be cryptic or say crazy things, and I won't talk about the Academy."

"It ain't that." Jayne tugged one hand out of the tangle to stroke her hair back from her face. The gesture startled Mal - he hadn't thought Jayne had any gentleness in him. "It ain't you. I just... it's been a long time. Think maybe it woulda been better if I'd stayed away."

"They want you to come home." River leaned into his touch. "Your mother's letters have longing caught in their corners."

"I know." Jayne sighed. "I just... I dunno. It's gonna be complicated, and I don't like complicated."

"And yet you like me." River lifted her hand to brush delicate fingertips over Jayne's jaw. "I am very complicated."

"That's different." Jayne smiled, ducking his head to kiss her fingers. "Girlfolk are always complicated. It's a rule or somethin'."

"It will be all right," River said, sounding more confident now that he was smiling. "Your family will be glad to see you, and I will do my best to appear normal so you are not embarrassed."

Jayne leaned down and kissed her, and Mal looked away again, guiltily aware that he was intruding on something quite private. "Don't you try'n appear like anyone but yourself," Jayne said firmly. "Ain't gonna start out by lyin' to my folks when I see 'em after all this time. They can take you a li'l crazy or not take either of us at all, _dong ma_?"

"_Wu dong._" River's arms slid around his neck and she returned the kiss with a rather more serious one of her own.

Mal sneaked away. He shouldn't have watched that, and he'd known he shouldn't, but damnit, he'd wanted to know how things stood between the two of them when they weren't doing their public display of solidarity.

A lot better than he'd thought, as it turned out. Simon's plan to wait until she lost interest might not be as effective as Mal had hoped.

* * *

Thinking of River, that was the thing.

He was still... not uncertain, exactly, but unsettled, when it came to her. They'd hardly been alone since the night after the Reaver fight, and definitely never alone enough to do more than kiss her some.

Which was all kinds of enjoyable, especially when she got all cuddlesome and kittenish. But Jayne would have felt better about the whole _thing_ if they could just spend some time alone. Have some sex, get comfortable being quiet together again. One round in bed and a few snatched moments of private conversation just weren't enough to make a man feel secure in a new arrangement like this.

Jayne wasn't a man comfortable with the idea of love. Giving up that much of himself to another person... he'd never been willing to risk it before. It still - well, it didn't scare him, but it made him a little unsettled. He needed time to get used to the idea, and time he had no more of, because they were landing and...

Damn. Thinking about River, happy and nervous as it made him, had let him straight back to thinking about landing on Beowulf and seeking out his family, which mostly smothered the happy and made the nervous get real big.

A little hand slid into his, and he felt River there without having to look. Not the way she felt things, in the head, but in the brush of warmth against the bare skin of his arm, and the faint scent of her, and the sound of her breathing. Such tiny breaths she took, like a little kid, and he felt like a great puffing bellows lying beside her sometimes, wondering how she could sleep with all the ruckus.

"I like to hear you beside me," River said quietly, brushing her cheek against his arm. "Breathing steady like the tides, heart beating like a clock. Tock... tock... tock..."

Jayne nodded, squeezing her hand gently. He wasn't sure why, but she had a real thing for his heart. He'd woken up at least once a night every night so far to find her ear pressed to his chest and her breathing slowing down to match its pace. "Ain't tickin' so slow right now."

"No. Faster now." She laid her free hand against his chest. "It's been so long. You want to see them, but you're..." She smiled up at him. "Not afraid, because Jayne is too big and strong to be afraid. Just... unsettled."

He scowled. There were times when his pretty little moonbrain understood him entirely too well. "Damn right I ain't afraid."

"Nor are you hiding." River looked around the tiny kitchen. "Just hungry."

Jayne had never been less hungry in his life, so he didn't bother dignifying that with a response. "You quit that. I don't need you pickin' at me."

She slid her arms around his waist, snuggling up in a way that made him inclined to forgive her every damned thing. "Sorry. Trying to annoy you. Make your crest rise."

"Hah." It was half laugh, half rueful agreement. "Figure it'll work on me as well as Mal, huh?"

"Sometimes it does." She rubbed her nose gently against his chest. "You washed."

"Well, yeah. You ain't the only one wants to make a good impression." He stroked her satiny hair. "You look good." The compliment came out awkward, but he meant it. He liked the tight, sleeveless red tunic on her, the way it made her pearly skin shine and showed the lean muscle in her slender arms.

River cooed, standing on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. "It doesn't have to come out right for me. Hear in your thoughts what you mean to say." She stepped back, looking up at him with a little smile. "We will have time, and be comfortable again," she said, making a promise of it. "Don't fret, it makes you sound like Simon."

"Well, that's a mean thing to say! I ain't streaky, I'm just… unsettled!"

* * *

"What in hell'd you do to this poor ship?" The section supervisor or whatever she was, for the area of the port dedicated to repairs, had introduced herself as Nora Thyne. She was a big, tough-looking woman, blonde and grey-eyed, and was looking at Mal's ship as if she'd caught him carvin' up a kitten. "Fly it into a planet?"

"Pretty much." Mal shrugged. "Weren't for I got one of the best pilots in the 'verse, we'd be so much debris on that moon right now. She fixable, you think?"

"It'll take coin, and plenty of it," Thyne said, eyeing up the ship. "And time. How you going to pay for all this?"

Mal winced. "We got some ready, and some credit with the Alliance. And an engineer can handle most of the small stuff herself. Give us a day or two to find a place to settle, and I'll square up what we'll need."

"Sure thing." Thyne nodded, looking over Mal's battered crew, huddling in the lee of the battered Serenity. Zoe and Simon were hovering over Wash on his stretcher, and Kaylee was leaning on Inara's arm. Jayne and River were the only ones looked reasonably presentable, and they were definitely a mite twitchy. "You got a place to stay yet?"

Mal shook his head. "Simon… the doctor… wants to take Wash to the nearest hospital to get him looked at – the Alliance fellows squared that up. The rest of us'll need somewhere, though. Got any recommendations?"

"Able's boarding-house on Finch Street's clean and reasonably priced. Food ain't fancy, but it ain't just protein either." Thyne shrugged. "It's handy for Duck Street, too."

Mal blinked. "Why, what's on Duck Street?"

That got him a surprised look. "Guess I was mistaken. Took the big fella with the little bit hanging off his arm for a Cobb. Looks like one."

"He is." Mal frowned. "I'm missing something here, ain't I?"

Thyne shrugged. "Most of the Cobbs live on Duck, is all. Figured you'd want to be handy."

"Yeah, I guess." Jayne definitely had some talking to do, when they were settled someplace. "I'll look into it."

"You do that. See you in a day or two, Captain Reynolds." She walked away, towards a skiff with two men hard at work on a damaged fin.

Mal rejoined his crew in time to see an ambulance pulling up by Serenity's nose. A fellow in a blue uniform jumped out, giving Mal a little nostalgic twinge. Those uniforms were deceptively comfortable. "Got word from the _Barrie_ there was an injured man here," he called, like he couldn't see Wash lying there all pale and horizontal.

"Over here. Recent amputation, and we've been on a tug for days. He's all right, I think, but I'd like some decent equipment and better painkillers," Simon said, pulling 'doctor' around him like a cloak even in his baggy brown sweater and stained pants. "I'm the attending physician, but as you can see…" he pointed to Serenity, "…my access to my medical facilities are nonexistent."

The medic nodded. "Got it, doctor. You riding with the patient?"

Simon looked over at Zoe. "There's generally only room for one passenger," he said quietly. "I can follow, if you'd like to…"

To Mal's jaw-dropping surprise, Zoe shook her head. "You're the doc. You'd best be the one to go."

Simon looked surprised too. "Are you sure?"

"I know you'll take good care of him." Zoe laid her hand on the boy's shoulder, smiling a bit. "Mind you get some rest and something to eat yourself."

"I will." Simon returned the smile shyly. "Contact me when you find a place for the rest of us to stay."

"We will." Zoe nodded, and knelt beside Wash's stretcher. "Baby? I'll be along in a bit, okay?"

"Sure. Me'n Simon'll be shiny," Wash said, smiling drowsily up at her. Simon had been keeping him on the pain-meds pretty steady. "You look after Mal."

"Someone's gotta." She kissed her husband and then stood back, letting Simon and the medics take the stretcher.

Mal moved up beside her. "Do my eyes deceive me, or did you just let the boy and them Alliance medics take your husband away without so much as a peep of protest?"

Zoe shrugged. "Simon's with him," she said quietly. "I trusted the boy to take my husband's leg off with a laser pistol, Mal, you think I don't trust him to take care of that husband in a nice, safe hospital?"

"Well, there's a point," Mal conceded. "According to the nice lady gave Serenity a berth, there's a clean boarding-house on Finch Street, wherever that may be. We should go, get settled, get a drink or three into Jayne 'fore he explodes."

"He is a mite twitchy." Zoe gave Jayne a thoughtful look. "He don't seem happy, for a fellow who's hit his home dirt for the first time in years."

Mal shrugged. "Home ain't always an easy place to be… and he's gonna have River to explain."

* * *

River bounced experimentally on the bed. It wasn't especially soft, but it wasn't too hard, and it was wide enough for her to sleep beside Jayne in comfort. "Your family are close. Will I meet them today?"

Jayne scowled. "Sent 'em a message. I gotta be there tonight – don't know about you." He'd been pacing the room since they'd acquired it, and he'd been displeased when Mal brought them to a place so near his old home. Streets and buildings twenty years unfamiliar and a lifetime known made him uncomfortable. "Maybe you should stay here with the others while I go see my folks. Just, you know, the first time."

River frowned. "I thought you didn't want me to be out of your sight."

"I don't. Just think it might be awkward is all." He paused in his pacing to run his broad hand gently over her head. "It's like to be tense and all, and I don't want you gettin' all upset by ancient history when you're doin' so well."

Jayne worried a lot about her head, which River found oddly comforting. He had only a hazy idea of what had been done to damage her, and still less of how her abilities worked or exactly how intense emotions affected her, but he knew _of_ those things... and in his linear mind they translated to a deep and tender protectiveness of her head. River liked that. Simon wanted to repair her head, and the doctors at the Academy had wished to study it. Only Jayne sought to protect it.

She smiled, butting her crown into his palm gently. "I will be with my _ju guei_, and all will be well."

"Ain't a damn tortoise," he muttered, but she knew it pleased him. He liked the image of himself as large and armoured, cuddling a tiny River-bird in under his shell and protecting her. "There might be some yelling. I know you don't like that."

"Why would they yell?" River drew him down to sit on the bed beside her, twining her arms around his midsection. "Your mother wants you to come home. She has asked you often."

"Yeah, but..." He crinkled up inside with guilt and resentment.

"What is it? What did you do that makes you all violet?" River rested her head on his shoulder.

Jayne sighed, his shoulders slumping a little. "I left."

* * *

_dong ma - you understand?_

_Wu dong - I understand_

_Ba ba - daddy_

_Ju guei - giant tortoise_

_xiao teng - little dragon_

* * *


	2. Chapter 2: Introductions and Explanation

**Chapter 2: Introductions and Explanations**

* * *

_See Chapter 1 for disclaimers, etc._

* * *

The house looked much the same.

That irked Jayne in a way he couldn't explain. Surely it should look... older, or smaller, or different somehow. It should look like it'd noticed that he wasn't the same kid who'd left all those years ago.

He looked down at River, who was holding his hand. She stood out on that ordinary, mundane street like a pearl in a box of apples, beautiful but just... wrong. Not fitting in. She fitted with him… soft and sweet in his arms, a deadly firebrand in a fight, a comfortable, silent presence beside him between-times. But she didn't fit _here_, in the home he'd outgrown.

He wanted his family to like her. Trouble was, he wasn't even sure how most of them were feelin' about _him_ right now, let alone the idea of him bringing home a woman. Let alone a woman like River.

"Nervous," River said softly, looking up at him as they approached the door. "Reception in doubt, creating concern."

"Yeah." Jayne squeezed her hand gently, then squared his shoulders and knocked on the door.

It opened and he had to look down further than he expected to find his mother's face. He'd forgotten how much he'd grown after he left home. She looked older, of course, and tired, but the big smile on her face made some of the nervous twitches go away. "Hi, Ma," he said quietly, leaning down to give her a hug.

"There's my boy," she said, her smile wobbling as she hugged him back very tightly. "An' where the hell you been all this time?"

"Workin', mostly." Jayne shrugged. "I'm sorry I ain't been back, Ma. I just… well, when I left…" He trailed off uncomfortably.

"I know." She cleared her throat, patting his back as he pulled away. "Don't you think on it. We're all just glad as you're home."

"All?" Jayne shifted uncomfortably. "Who's here?"

"Me and your pa and your brothers and sisters, of course." His ma sniffed a bit. "Figured you'd best wait to meet your nieces and nephews until you've rested up some." She looked past him and blinked, apparently noticing River for the first time. "And who's this young lady?"

Jayne tugged River forward, squeezing her shoulder reassuringly. She looked nervous. "Ma, this is River Tam. She's… uh…" He wasn't entirely sure how to explain it, so he stuck to tradition. "She's my girl."

His mother would've welcomed River with open arms if she'd been a grandchild, which Jayne was uncomfortably aware she was young enough to be. As it was, the blue eyes Jayne had inherited went just a little wary. As it was, she nodded politely enough and managed a small smile. "It's a pleasure to meet you, River. I'm Bess Cobb."

"I am honoured to meet you," River said in a small voice. She sounded extra refined and Core-ish, which Jayne knew to mean she was nervous. "I hope I am not intruding on your reunion."

"Of course not." It had to be said, and Bess even made it sound almost convincing. Jayne knew that the refined tones were telling against River, though. "Come in, both of you."

She pulled them inside, into a hall narrower and smaller than Jayne remembered. He sidled past his mother, then paused awkwardly when he saw a boy - no, a young man, about Simon's age - standing by the stairs. The kid was pale and thin, shorter than most of the family, but he had the family eyes. "Mattie?"

The young man, who wasn't nothing at all like the cute toddler Jayne remembered, nodded and held out a thin hand. "Hi, Jayne."

They clasped hands awkwardly, then Jayne saw Mattie's eyes slide towards River. "This is River."

"You're shorter than I expected, from what Jayne's said about you." Mattie smiled a little bit, offering her his hand.

River took it, her tiny fingers vanishing among Mattie's long ones. "My attempts to grow larger meet with continued failure. I'm saddened by it." She smiled at him. "I am pleased to meet you."

"I'm pleased to meet you, too." Mattie's smile got a little bigger, and Jayne frowned. He hoped Mattie wasn't going to take to fancying River, 'cause he'd feel real bad if he had to smack his invalid baby brother's head in.

Things didn't get any less awkward when they'd been ushered through into the shabby 'family room' that at least looked a little different. There was a couple of new pictures, some new furniture... at least this room was acknowledging that Jayne had been gone a while.

Most of the rest of the family were there. Jayne's father, looking much greyer but otherwise not changed a whole lot, three women who looked at least a little like the sisters he remembered, and his brother David, recognisable thanks to the scar across his forehead, his brown eyes, and not much else.

Jayne traded awkward handclasps with the men, even more awkward hugs with the women, and turned to River with a little relief. It helped some, knowing she was right there. "This's my girl, River. River, this's the rest of my family. This is my pa, Flynn..." River bowed slightly, in recognition of the head of the family, and Flynn nodded, looking her over thoughtfully.

"This is my sister Sora, an' this is Cailey, and this is Bella. She's the youngest 'cept for Mattie." Sora and Bella were content with nods and smiles, but Cailey gave River a hug. She'd always been Jayne's favourite sister. River returned the hug, looking a bit less tense.

"And this is my other brother, David." David nodded, but he was frowning. What was not to like about River? Wasn't she pretty and smart and all manner of shiny?

"I am honoured." River smiled bravely, but she sidled a little closer to Jayne. "I'm sorry for intruding on your reunion, but Jayne was anxious for me to meet all of you."

She was trying real hard to make sense and to speak so's folk weren't Jayne could understand her, and Jayne beamed at her proudly. She still sounded a little Core-i-fied, but she was doing much better than she usually did when she was nervous. "Well, yeah. After twenty years of tellin' me I'd give up my evil lecherous ways when I met the right girl, I figured Ma was entitled to see that she was right."

That got something of a laugh, which helped ease the tension some. Then David frowned again. "Not to question your undoubtedly fine taste in women, big brother, but didn't she stab you a while back?"

David always had been a mouthy little prick. It'd driven his slower-of-speech big brother crazy. "Well, yeah, but..."

"But what? Seems to me that'd be something of a hitch in a relationship," Flynn said mildly, but the look he was bending on River wasn't exactly kindly.

"And wasn't she crazy? I recall you mentioning in one of them letters about her being crazy." David again. Jayne wondered if smacking him in the mouth still worked to shut him up.

River shifted unhappily, drawing in on herself. "Apologized for the stabbing."

"And it ain't nothing to think on now," Jayne said, putting a possessive arm around River's little shoulders and glaring at David. "River had some…" He looked down at River. "What's that word for brain I'm wantin'?"

She managed a tiny smile, just for him. "Neural."

"Yeah, that's it… some neural damage, like when someone's had a stroke or some such. Got her confused about what was real and what wasn't for a little bit, and it makes it hard for her to talk straight sometimes, but she's okay now." He squeezed River's shoulder, feeling her burrow against his side.

"Well, I'm happy for you, for one," Cailey said firmly. "I figured as you was going to stay a disreputable bachelor until the day you died, _da ge_. And if River's what it took to get you back home, then I wish you'd found her sooner."

"That's right," Bess said, and Jayne would have to thank Cailey later. Bess had wanted him to come home for a long time, and she'd be at least some in favour of anything that got him there. "Don't you be pickin' at the girl, David."

"Why _are_ you back now?" Sora asked, thoughtful-like. "Just for us t'meet River, or there some other reason?"

"Serenity is wounded," River said slowly, and Jayne could tell she was trying to speak proper. "Our ship. We crashed. Jayne said to come here to make her whole. An… excuse… no, the word is wrong, it's…" She gave Jayne a pleading look.

He rubbed her small back. "It's okay, I got it," he said, giving David a filthy look. "And don't you upset her no more, it makes it hard for her to talk straight."

Sora nodded. "It's all right," she told River, to Jayne's surprise. "My father-in-law had a stroke, few years back. I know how it is. Ain't no hurry… hell, most of us ain't much for fast-talkin' our own selves. You'd know that, knowing Jayne."

River nodded, relaxing a little under Jayne's hand. "The strong silent type," she said, smiling up at Jayne. "He understands when speech comes hard, listens for the sense behind the words."

Jayne returned the smile, just a little. "I can figure what she's tryin' to say, most times."

"You going to settle, now?" Bella asked, speaking for the first time. "The two of you staying?"

Jayne looked at her, feeling the same uncomfortable feeling he did around Mattie. Bella had been four when he'd left, chubby and giggly and annoying. Now here she was, a woman a mite older than Kaylee, married and with two younguns of her own, and he didn't know her at all. "No. I mean, we'll stay for a while, but when Serenity's fixed up we'll be on our way."

"What exactly do you do on Serenity, anyway?" Bella asked, frowning. "You never do say."

"Bella, you hush," Bess said sharply, but the words were spoken. Jayne had never told his family what he did, not in so many words… and they never had asked. "He guards," River said proudly. "Guards the cargo. Guards the girls, when we land somewhere dangerous. Strong left hand to the captain."

Which was true, but he liked how she made it sound better than what he really was. "Serenity's a cargo ship. Can't run cargo out on the Rim without guards, not unless you want your throat cut an' your cargo stole."

"Fair enough," Flynn said, noddling slightly. He looked relieved – while he surely knew that the money Jayne had been sending home was too much to be gained by strictly legitimate means, guarding cargo as might not be quite legal was better than a lot of things Jayne might have been doing (and probably had done, some time or another, not that he'd ever told them that). "How about you, River? What is it you do, on the ship?"

"I help," River said, frowning as she pulled the words together. "I am learning to be a pilot, and to fix Serenity when she's broken."

"River's real smart," Jayne said proudly. "She's gettin' trained up to cover for anyone gets hurt or sick… an' I guess she'll be pilot for a while, on account of Wash getting hurt."

"How'd he get hurt?" Bella asked. Bella seemed to like questions. "Was it when you crashed your ship?"

* * *

"No, it's fine. You go ahead and stay. Just send Simon on back so's Kaylee can fuss over him." Mal smiled a little. Even through the small, staticky communicator, he could hear how torn Zoe was. She didn't like leaving Mal alone and unguarded, but she really wanted to spend the night by Wash's bedside. "Really. We're all nice and cosy here, ain't no bounties or any such on our heads, and you got your man to watch over."

"If you're sure, sir. Thank you." Zoe sounded relieved. "Simon's on his way back now.'

"Good. I'll let Kaylee know."

Mal clicked the communicator off and headed back into the boarding-house. Kaylee and Inara were still at the table where they'd eaten supper, talking in low voices. They stopped when he approached, so he figured it was some sort of girly talk not fit for a man's ears. "Hey, little Kaylee," he said, ruffling her hair affectionately. "Zoe's gonna stay the night at the hospital, an' Simon's on his way back here. Figure he'll want feedin' and fussin' and all."

"I'll go save something for him!" Kaylee jumped up, beaming, and headed for the kitchen, where the boarding-house cook was still doling out meals to the latecomers.

Mal wasn't sure how much Kaylee and Simon had managed in the way of cementing their relationship - some kissing and a lot of sentimental mushy-talk, most likely - but they sure seemed happy. And they'd have some privacy over the next week or two...

They weren't the only ones, either. He sat down beside Inara, reclaiming his half-finished tea, and stared into it for a second. No answers there. "We're not on an Alliance ship anymore," he said after another pause.

"No, we're not." Was it his imagination, or did Inara sound nervous?

"Not back on Serenity yet or anything, but this is a reasonably safe berth. Ain't likely anyone'll try to shoot me personal-like."

"Not very likely, no."

"Accidents do happen, of course. Bullet aimed at someone else might hit me, or some such. But I conjure as the chances of that are pretty damn slim."

"I would hope so."

He finished his tea in one gulp, wishing it was something stronger and pushed it away. "Even so, given my luck, I'd sure appreciate it if we could... uh... talk upstairs, away from any accidental shootings or food fights as might commence."

He risked looking at her, and found her smiling. "That would probably be wise," she agreed, that little crease forming at the corner of her mouth the way it did when her smile was a real one. He had a deep and personal fondness for that tiny crease.

"Good. Let's... uh... go then." He stood and offered her his arm, trying to at least fake being a gentleman.

They headed up the stairs, and all too soon they were standing in Mal's little cupboard of a single room - just a bed, a nightstand, and a few hooks on the wall. A cheap place to stay a week or three, comfortable enough for one... but uncomfortably crowded for two. Especially when Inara was one of the two, filling up his room with perfume and looking at him with those eyes that melted his brain and made gibberish come out his mouth. "Uh... you want to sit down?"

Inara shook her head. "I'm fine."

"Right. Good." Mal rubbed a hand through his hair. He kind of wished now that he hadn't set himself up for this, talking about feelings not being his strong point. But he knew there were things had to be said, and it was about time as he said them. "Inara, this is... I want you to know..."

"Yes, Mal?" Her eyes were luminous, her lips slightly parted.

"Okay, don't do that." It came out harsher than he meant and she flinched back a tiny bit. Mal stifled a curse. "I mean, don't interrupt. This is hard enough without you sayin' my name and makin' me all distracted."

"I distract you when I say your name?" The crease was back.

"In all manner of ways, woman, so you just keep quiet until I'm done, all right?"

She nodded, her mouth doing distracting things as she tried not to smile. Mal had to forcibly drag his eyes away from it before he could start talking again.

"See, the thing is... We've always had a certain sort of chemistry, seems to me. Ain't either of us particularly wanted to, least at first, but it's been there right from the start. And it's made things all manner of complicated, what with your trade an' mine."

Inara nodded gravely, though she didn't speak, which Mal appreciated.

"And it ain't just the chemistry, not any more. Now there's... there's things, and softer feelings and... and things." Mal rubbed the back of his neck. "And you're not a Companion any more, and I'd a mind to speak as soon as you came back. But you asked me not to, 'cause you wanted to be independent a spell, and I surely do understand that. So I didn't say a word, but I kind of thought we maybe had an understanding of sorts."

Inara nodded again, her face getting all soft.

"And that wasn't 'cause of me. The changing your trade. You said it wasn't, and I'm glad of that, 'cause if it was, time might come you'd resent me for all you gave up. Way things are, you'd have to be resenting Simon and Kaylee, and ain't nobody can keep up hard feelings against those two for long. They're too damn cute. Like puppies."

Inara chuckled. "They really are."

He grinned at her, liking her warm expression when she thought on the youngsters. "And I... we've always itched mightily at each other. Fought plenty. All those defenses we got... your training and my experience and all... they just all come to nothing between the two of us. Got no defenses from you, and I'll own I don't like that one bit. But I think it's the same for you, too, and that makes it a little better. If I'm gonna be naked in a fight, metaphorically speaking, I'd like to not be the only one."

"It's always bothered me, too," Inara said quietly. "That you just... just waltz through all my shields as if they're not even there. You _get_ to me."

"And you get to me, too. Believe me, you get to me." Mal nodded, grateful for the reassurance that he was on the right track even if she had interrupted. "And... well, can't say as I'm like to say it often, because I got an allergy to sentiment - " Inara snickered. "An _allergy_?"

"Makes me come out in a fearsome rash. I start scratchin' every time Wash and Zoe make googly eyes at each other, honest. And you stop interrupting." He chuckled, and then had to look away from the sheer heartstopping perfection that was Inara. "But... I love you. I do. And I want you to know that, even if we both know I ain't half good enough for you."

There was a long pause, and Mal felt his throat close up. He'd thought...

"Are you done now?" Inara said tentatively. "Is it my turn?"

"Yeah. Yeah, you go." Mal's hands were sweating, and he rubbed them surreptitiously on his pants.

"You vex me, Malcolm Reynolds," she said, and though she sounded severe that little crease was back. "And there have been times when I've hated you for it. Who was this scruffy, law-breaking pirate to play such havoc with my life and my heart? Don't interrupt!" she added, raising a finger as he opened his mouth. "I've known handsomer men, and more charming men, and more intelligent men, and Buddha knows I've known richer men." She smiled a shy little smile he'd never seen on her face before. "But there are very few _better_ men than you in the 'verse. Simon is one, and you're just lucky I didn't meet him first."

Mal gave her a pained look, mouthing 'Simon?' silently.

"Yes, Simon. He's a saint, you know he is. But you..." She shook her head, the smile widening. "You make my heart misbehave, Mal. You make my priorities do handstands and my self-control jump right out the window. You make me use stupid metaphors."

Mal couldn't have forced the grin off his face if his life depended on it.

"Stop looking so smug." Inara was grinning too, an honest-to-god grin. "I love you too, Mal. I have for a long time. I'm not sure how this will work... we're both stubborn and argumentative and much too independent, but..."

"But we'll manage. We will. We'll fight every day and then we'll make up. It'll be fun." Mal grinned, moving forward to wrap his arms around her and just _hold_ her. He'd been wanting to do that a long time.

Inara cuddled up to him. "It will. I don't think getting under your skin and making you gibber incoherently will stop being entertaining any time soon."

"I have just as much fun making you sputter, believe me." He stroked her hair, wondering how it was possible to be so incredibly happy without something exploding in his immediate vicinity. Or shooting starting up. Or _something_.

She sighed, and nestled against him. "Mal?"

"Mm?"

"Does it still bother you that I was a Companion?"

Tradition held as he should say no, not at all, but Mal wasn't inclined to start things off with even a small fib. "A little. Kinda puts me in an awkward position, performance-wise. Man likes to be able to at least pretend to himself that a woman ain't ever had better'n him, and with you the odds of that are pretty damn slim."

She let out a startled giggle. "Mal!"

"Well, it's true. I mean, I'm reasonably confident in my abilities in that area, but I'm dealing with an expert here. It ain't easy for a man to feel confident in this sort of situation." It was true, but it was also kind of funny, and he smiled down at her. "Which isn't to say as I won't try, when you decide to... uh... invite me to your shuttle, so to speak."

"I'm glad." She was still giggling, and then she looked up at him and her face smoothed out. "There is one thing."

"One thing what?"

"One thing I've never done with a man. Ever."

"There is?" He'd kind of figured she must have tried just about _everything_ at least once. "What?"

"Just sleeping." She rested her hands on his chest, spreading her fingers over his shirt. "I've had a few... a very few... clients who engaged me overnight, but I can count on the fingers of one hand the times I've actually _slept_ with someone. And it's never been just sleep. I've never had someone I could lie down with and just... not perform. Not put on a show."

"Just sleep." Mal smiled, feeling weirdly better about the whole thing. "I kind of like that. I mean, I like the other option too, but sometimes it's nice to just have someone close. I should warn you, though... I'm a snuggler. If there's someone else in the bed, then I wind up all over 'em before night's over."

"I'd like that." Inara smiled, and slid her hands up to cup the back of his neck. "Now come down here and kiss me."

Mal did that, and Inara filled his brain with perfume and fireworks and no thought at all.

* * *

It wasn't right.

One yellow piece among all the blue ones, blackberry bush in the flower garden, sharp knife in the spoon drawer. She didn't fit.

Jayne saw it, even tangled in confusion and love and guilt and all the complex emotions family brought. He was glad that she was with him, proud to have her at his side, but he knew that she didn't fit with his family and it worried him.

Nobody had been overtly unkind. Not even David, who was a bully under the brown curls and flashing smile. But they looked at her out of the corner of their eyes, and she tasted doubt and confusion in their coils.

It was a relief when they left, walking dark streets with her arm tucked securely into Jayne's. He was silent at first, letting tension dissipate, and then he looked down at her, smiling a bit. "So... uh... what did you think?"

"Cailey is nice. And Mattie." Those two had spoken to her the most, with Flynn and Bess monopolizing Jayne. "Mattie is like you when you fight with Mal."

"Really? How's he like me?" Jayne was surprised by that, not being able to see under Mattie's calm, quiet exterior.

"Angry. Frustrated. Acid in spirals." She was tired, and trying to talk straight for so long had been a strain, even after Jayne and Sora had made the others understand it with their semi-accurate comparison. It was easier to lapse into the half-metaphor River-dialect she had spoken for so long, letting the words come without forcing them into appropriate forms. Jayne would understand anyway. "He is trapped in a cage of weakened flesh, and dismissed as a nothing."

Jayne nodded, frowning a little. "You mean they don't pay much mind to him on account of bein' an invalid? Like Mal don't pay mind to me 'cause he thinks I'm dumb?"

"It's a common misconception held among the working classes that a feeble or damaged body represents a feeble or damaged mind. I read that in a book." River leaned against him, smelling his sleeve. "It's not true. My body is flawless, but my brain is damaged. Mattie's mind is whole and perfect, but his body fails him."

Jayne was a little annoyed, feeling that his family were being disparaged. "It ain't like they treat him bad or nothin'."

"But they don't listen. Nobody listens. He is a non-entity. Emasculated." River frowned. "He has no opportunity to mate and form his own family. It saddens him."

"Oh." Jayne's gruff, unpredictable sympathy curled around his uncertain memory of his brother and pulled it close. "Can't blame him for bein' mad about that. Ain't many girls'll pay mind to a fellow can't even walk down the stairs 'thout gettin' short of breath, I guess."

"None at all," River said sadly. "Know how he feels. The River was certain she would flow solitary forever, all whirlpools of madness making boating inadvisable."

"Yeah, but you _ain't_ solitary forever." He stopped them then, drawing her into the shadow of a house so he could kiss her lingeringly. He was private about kissing, though not about any other form of touch short of actual coupling. "You got me. I like you just fine the way you are."

"I know." River sighed, snuggling up to him and returning his kisses eagerly. "But make time to talk to Mattie. He is lonely for vocal intercourse that is free of pity."

"Don't use 'intercourse' for anything involving my kin, wouldja?" Jayne winced, but he grinned and gave her behind a gentle squeeze. "Speakin' of, we got a nice private room now..."

"We do. I think we should make use of it." He was so easily distracted. River let thoughts of Jayne's uncertain, untrusting family slide away. Tomorrow was soon enough to think of them. For now, Jayne was entirely hers.

When they reached the hotel, however, her Jayne became a nervous Jayne. It took her some time to pinpoint why... there was anticipation there, and affection too, but the nervousness rose up through them like weeds.

He was nervous about the incipient sexual union. Though they had both enjoyed the first time, their exhaustion and adrenaline had meant it had been shorn of preliminaries and soon over. Now he felt called upon to prove his expertise, and was worried that his performance would not sufficiently impress her.

"You never worried about that before." She leaned against his back as he closed their door, sliding her arms around his waist.

He was blushing, she could taste it. "Ain't been this important before," he mumbled, more nervous than ever now that she'd actually brought it up. "Didn't exactly make my finest showing the first time."

"I had no complaints."

"Yeah, well, I wanna do better'n 'no complaints'." He turned in her arms, wrapping his own around her. "I wanna do right by you is all."

"I know." She smiled up at him. "You will."

He leaned down to kiss her, his hands wandering as he did so. "Well, then. Let's see what we can do," he murmured huskily, when their lips parted.

It was much slower, this time. Jayne was used to lust but unaccustomed to passion, and he was nervous until River began essaying explorations of her own. This time, she was determined, all the work would not be left up to him. Jayne was vocal in his appreciation, and then there was no need for words at all, only sounds and touches and flesh united as one.

It was quite a long time later that Jayne spooned himself around her, rippling and furry with contentment. "Mmmmrrrr…" he growled sleepily, nuzzling her hair. "You comf'r'ble? Wan' me to move?"

"No. I like this." River snuggled back against him. "My Jayne is a good blanket."

He kissed her hair, all happy loops inside. "Your Jayne, huh?"

"My Jayne. Your River." She nodded. "Even if _Ba ba_ and your family do not approve. They will get used to the idea."

He sighed, breath tickling the back of her neck. "I'm sorry 'bout that. Wanted 'em to like you."

"Simon doesn't like you, either." River reached back to curl her hand around the back of his neck. "It is unimportant. You are my Jayne."

He nodded, his momentary discomfort soothed by her declaration. "An' you're my River," he murmured. "An' you talk too much. Ain't you tired out yet?"

"Yes," she said, quite truthfully. "I will go to sleep now."

"Good. You do that."

* * *

_dong ma - you understand?_

_Wu dong - I understand_

_Ba ba - daddy_

_Ju guei - giant tortoise_

_xiao teng - little dragon_

* * *


	3. Chapter 3: Repairs

**Chapter 3: Repairs**

* * *

_See Chapter 1 for disclaimers, etc._

* * *

"Kaylee?"

"Mm?"

"Kaylee, I have to go."

"Ngh. Mlmvu."

Simon loved Kaylee. He loved her very much. But she was less verbal even than Jayne first thing in the morning. "I love you too," he said, leaning down to kiss her cheek. "I'll be at the hospital, all right?"

"Mhm." She smiled, her eyes still shut tight.

He tucked the blanket up around her shoulders and slipped away. Despite being barely past dawn, breakfast was already serving in the boarding-house's dining hall and he got a cup of coffee and some real, honest toast before heading for the hospital.

One bus-ride and a brief argument with a security guard later, he found his way back to Wash's room. "Zoe?"

"Mmh?" She lifted her head from her arms, blinking at him. "Hey, doc. Is it morning already?"

"Yes." He had smuggled two pieces of toast out of the boarding house, wrapped in a napkin, and now he offered them to her. "I brought breakfast. There's a machine down the hall that'll spit out coffee for two bits, although it's not good coffee."

"I'll stick with the water they keep bringing. It's double-filtered – pretty good." She accepted the toast.

Wash opened his eyes and smiled at Simon. "G'morning. How'm I doing?"

Simon examined the chart at the end of Wash's bed. "Pretty well. There was a little infection, but not nearly as much as I would have expected under the circumstances of the amputation, and it seems to be clearing now. How does it feel?"

Wash shrugged. "Sore, and I have this sort of itch in the ankle I don't have any more. But it's not too bad."

"Phantom sensation isn't unusual." Simon leaned against the foot of the bed. "You'll need to stay for another few days, but you'll be out of here and helping us fix Serenity very soon."

Wash nodded, looking relieved. "How long before I can get out of bed?"

"Zoe and I will get you up and into a chair today. If all goes well, you can take a wheelchair for a spin tomorrow." Simon hadn't realized how much he'd missed this. Situations where he knew the answers, where he could _help_ instead of standing by clutching a gun he could barely aim.

Wash brightened up. "My own set of wheels? Simon, you shouldn't have!"

Zoe smiled a bit, then she reached out to take Wash's hand. "You said once you knew as how it was healing you'd explain what... options there are," she said quietly.

Simon nodded, watching Wash trying to pretend he wasn't nervous as he squeezed Zoe's hand. "It's healing well, no more tissue will need to be removed... you should be out of the hospital in a week at most, and that includes some basic physiotherapy. I can continue that once we're back on Serenity... I'll have to look up the details, but I know the basics."

Wash nodded silently, and Zoe gave his hand another squeeze. "What about a prosthetic?" she asked, and Wash gave her a grateful look.

"Not for a while. At least eight weeks, and I'd prefer three months." Simon was careful to sound optimistic. "That I can't do myself, but we can go to one of the clinics on Beaumonde or Persephone."

Wash sighed quietly. "But I will get one? It won't be crutches forever?"

"No, it won't be crutches forever." Simon smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring way. "And it could be worse. There are railings all around Serenity that'll help you to navigate, and don't be shy about asking for help. There isn't one member of the crew who hasn't restrained River when she's having a fit of insanity, or helped me patch up one or the other. Lending you a hand when you go up or down stairs isn't a big deal."

Wash looked at him for a long moment, then he smiled. "I'd make a joke, but... you're right. After everything we've all been through together, it'd be silly to get embarrassed about needing help, wouldn't it?"

Simon grinned right back. "You're talking to a man who couldn't put on a space-suit straight, play a simple game of hoopball or feed himself, remember? I had to learn to ask for help. You'll get used to it too."

Wash nodded. "You know what's weird?" he said quietly, looking down at where his left leg had been.

"What, honey?"

"My tattoo's gone. I feel weird about that. I hated it, but..." Wash swallowed hard. "It was... it reminded me that things were real."

Zoe leaned over to rest her forehead against his temple. "It's gonna be okay, baby. I'll be here."

"That is the important thing." He sighed, looking a bit happier. "Oh, hey, Simon... we've been talking about that baby thing, and I've given in. How long – "

"Four or five weeks. And be careful." Simon just knew he was blushing, but that was all right, because he kind of thought Zoe was too. He hadn't thought she knew how. "And Zoe, I'll start you on some vitamin supplements before that."

"Right." Zoe nodded, still looking a tiny bit embarrassed. "And... thank you, Simon."

Simon nodded. "You're welcome." They shared a look that would have been a hug if either had been a demonstrative person, that covered everything else that might need to be said. Simon would do everything possible to care for Wash, and Zoe knew that, and they didn't need to say anything about how much it mattered to both of them.

* * *

River woke up on the floor.

She clutched at her head, still feeling the needles sliding into her skull, her eyes, probing at her brain and making her see... but she wasn't in the chair. Smooth wood pressed against her naked skin, and fresh, unfiltered air was drying the sweat on her skin. There was nothing touching her but wood and air and an edge of blanket, and now that the disjointed madness of poisoned secrets was gone she was able to pull free of the nightmare, remind herself that it was in the past.

She lifted her head, taking a wobbly breath, to find that she was sitting on the floor beside the bed. Even as she sat up, Jayne knelt down beside her, wrapping strong arms around her. "You okay?" he asked, one big hand cupping her head soothingly. "Was it the needles?"

"Yes. First time since Miranda..." She'd hoped it meant the nightmares were gone, even though she knew it was foolish. Trauma couldn't be mended so easily... she might not be mad any more, but the memories were still there, still haunting her. Then she pulled away, feeling pain bloom in his shoulder and side. "_Ju guei_, I hit you!"

He blinked, looking down at the red mark on his shoulder that would soon be a dark bruise. "What? Oh, yeah, you was thrashin' around some 'fore you fell off the bed. Ain't nothin'."

"But I hurt you. I could have hurt you more." She slid away from him, pressing against the side of the bed and hiding her face against her knees. She had hurt her Jayne.

It would happen again.

No matter how badly she wanted it not to, it would happen again. There was danger in her, and all her love for Jayne wouldn't protect him from it. She wasn't crazy anymore, it wouldn't be a knife in the galley or a kick to the spine, but it would happen.

"You think I don't know that?" Jayne took her head between his hands, making her look at him. River hadn't realized that her thoughts had been coming out of her mouth, but she could feel his understanding. "We had a talk on this, remember? Seein' all the bad in each other and not giving a good gorram?"

"Yes, but - "

"But nothin'," he said flatly. "A bruise or two ain't nothin' to me. Don't hardly even notice it, I've had so many. There'll be times we both come up swinging, and sometimes we'll get each other. I don't figure I'll like it any more than you do, when I do it, but it's the way we are. We hit out, sometimes, and we're used to getting hurt. That's why this works, _dong ma_?

Some of the squirming guilt eased away, and River nodded shakily. "I don't like hurting you."

"Ain't in favour my own self, but I c'n live with it." He stood up, pulling her to her feet and holding her close when her knees refused to support her. "Now stop getting all fussed over nothing. I've taken worse hits playing hoop-ball."

She nodded, snuggling against him. "Still don't like hurting my Jayne," she mumbled, comforted. "Would appreciate being distracted with sex."

He snickered, breath ruffling her hair. "Well, hell, don't have to ask _me_ twice."

* * *

"Finally. Starting to think you was gonna sleep all day." Mal looked up from his coffee when Jayne sat down across from him, looking remarkably cheery for a man whose ship was all broke up and who was less than a week past starting a potential civil war.

Jayne was feeling pretty cheerful himself, though, so it didn't bother him too much. He could get used to getting all the sex he wanted on a regular basis - and the odd punch or kick when River had a nightmare was no price at all to pay for it. And the boarding-house was generous with its portions, so he was going to get a man-sized breakfast for once. "Why, you pinin' for my company or something?"

"Well, it does break my heart a little, I go more'n eight hours without seeing your ugly mug." Mal grinned. "This is your old stomping ground, so I figure you're coming along with me and Kaylee to hunt up the parts we need and sort out what we'll need to have the crews at the port fix, and what we can handle our own selves."

Jayne shook his head. "Crews at the port'll shaft you, an' they won't use brought in parts. You want to get her moved to one of the yards." That much, at least, couldn't have changed. He'd seen signs for two of them just on the bus-ride to the boarding-house, and didn't Cailey's man work in one?

"Yards?" Mal frowned, sipping his coffee.

"The big scrapyards. They repair as well as breakin' down, 'cause they're the ones got all the parts for older ships that ain't made new no more." Jayne shrugged. "Third-biggest business on Beowulf, after the mines and the factories. Used to work in one myself, 'fore I left."

"Well, that makes more sense than it don't. Port authority'll let 'em work in their turf?"

"Nah... once you find a yard, they'll send over a _Bu Jing Chuan_ to move her to one of their berths. They won't charge you for the berth, either, so we'd best find a place today." Jayne shovelled his breakfast in a little faster, in case Mal took it in his head to hustle for a change.

"A Whale-Chaser... that how you learned to fly one? I recall you saying a while back that you could."

"Yup." Jayne didn't feel the need to elaborate further. "My sister an' her man work in a yard, or they used to. I'll check in with my folks... might be able to swing a discount." He'd been sending money for the last twenty years, that'd gone Cailey's way at least twice when her kids or man got sick. He figured he could call up a favour or two.

"I do like that word." Mal smirked. "All right. You see what you can round up. Think you'll be ready in an hour?"

"Make it an hour and a half."

* * *

"Wow..."

Kaylee hadn't ever seen as much _stuff_ - parts and skiffs and ships and stacks of plating and all manner of things she itched to play with - in one place. The biggest yard back home hadn't been a quarter of the size, and there were a dozen bigger than this one on Beowulf. She wished her Daddy could see this.

Jayne took hold of her arm, and grinned at Kaylee when she looked up at him. "You wander off in here, we'd never find you again," he said, and he sounded a little more cheerful than he had on the way here. "They'd find out how good you are with machines and you'd get yourself shanghaied and chained to a workbench."

Kaylee giggled. "Well, if I did, I know River'd find me and you'd come an' get me. Who're we meeting with?"

"Jayne has a brother-in-law works here, apparently. He's setting us up with berth and repairs, giving us a nice little family discount." The Cap'n was looking around uncertainly. "He's supposed to meet us here. Jayne, you see him?"

"How the hell should I know? Ain't ever met the man." Jayne shrugged. "He must be here somewhere."

"Jayne!" A pretty woman, tall, with curly brown hair and Jayne's big blue eyes bounced over to them.

"Hey there." Jayne hugged her a bit awkwardly. "Cailey, this here's Captain Reynolds, and this is Kaylee our mechanic."

"Hi!" Kaylee offered her hand and had it shaken enthusiastically. "I've always wanted to meet you!"

"I've been wanting to meet you too, ever since Jayne wrote us there was a Cailey on his ship - but you spell it different, right?" Jayne's sister grinned.

"Mine's just a nickname - short for Kaywinnet Lee." Kaylee grinned right back.

Cap'n was looking from one to the other of them, all startled-like. "Correct me if I'm wrong, ma'am, but did Jayne just say your name's Kaylee?"

"Always has been." Cailey offered him her hand, still grinning. "Take it he didn't mention it?"

Mal turned the bewildered look on Jayne. "Well, to our Kaylee, seems like, but he never did mention it to me. Truth be told, I never even knew he had a sister."

"He's got three, actually, an' two brothers livin'." Cailey shook her head, not seeming surprised. "Anyway, we can all catch up later." She waved over a blond man almost as big as Jayne. Pretty much everyone on Beowulf seemed to be big, Kaylee had noticed. "This is my husband, Ulric. 'Ric, this is my big brother Jayne, Cap'n Reynolds, and the pretty one's their ship's mechanic, who's called Kaylee too."

Ulric offered the Cap'n a hand real friendly-like. "Hear you got a Firefly's torn up pretty bad," he said. "I can set you up with a berth and cut you a deal on the parts... labour'll still cost, though."

"Mighty neighbourly of you." Mal smiled. "We 'preciate that."

"Least we can do." For someone who'd never met Jayne before, Ulric gave him a mighty friendly look. "Ain't anyone in the family don't owe Jayne a favour or two. Now, if you'll go along with my Cailey, she'll set you up a call to Nora over at the port to authorize release. We can fire up a 'Chaser and have your Serenity here inside an hour." He grinned at Kaylee. "While that gets done, your Kaylee can run me down on the damage and what parts we'll need, _bu lai_?"

"Sure. Jayne, you stay with Kaylee, make sure she don't get shanghaied by mechanics." Mal headed off with Jayne's pretty sister, looking downright happy with his day, for a change.

"Well, we crashed, so she's tore up pretty bad along the belly." Kaylee liked Ulric already, as he winced and looked sad for the hurt done her poor ship. "Port thruster was tore off, and there's loads of internal damage, but the engine and all are right enough. Emergency life support needs work, but the main's'd be working fine if the hull was intact..."

* * *

When negotiations were done and the Whale-Chaser dispatched to fetch Serenity, Jayne escorted Kaylee back to the boarding-house. He hadn't noticed the day before, being much too busy worrying about the meeting with the family, but there was a bad feeling in the air. Nothing big, not yet, but there was something in the way folk were walking the streets, gathering in knots to talk hard... it smelled to Jayne like the first whiff of changed air before a storm.

He was careful not to let Kaylee know he was worried, and she was too busy gawking at what she still thought was a big city to notice. When they reached the boarding-house, though, he went to find River.

"Thunder in the air," she said, before he could say a word. "I'll watch over Inara and Kaylee."

"Good. Warn Zoe, too - I don't know if she's been out enough to pick up on it yet." He leaned down to kiss her, just 'cause he _could_ now. "Listen, I'm gonna go sniff around some, get a feel of what's going on." It was only after he said it that it occurred to him he maybe shouldn't. Would River want him to stay with her? They hadn't hardly been apart since Miranda - was she going to want it to be that way all the time? "Unless you think I shouldn't," he said lamely, not liking the idea overmuch.

She nodded. "You're best out from underfoot," she said, and he was glad she knew that was what he was really saying. "I have no use for you at the moment anyway. The bathing-rooms are empty in the middle of the day. Zoe and Kaylee and Inara and I will gather and wash."

Jayne blinked.

Zoe, Kaylee, Inara and River. Bathing together. All wet and nekkid. Maybe even washing each other's backs and stuff.

River smacked his arm. "You are not supposed to think such thoughts when newly paired!" she said, but she was grinning. "You have a filthy mind!"

"Well, yeah." He grinned, giving her pert ass a little pinch. "You knew that."

"True." She kissed him, little arms going around his neck in a way that gave him that ten-foot-tall feeling. "Go sniff. Your feet will get itchy if you loiter about being sentimental all the time."

Jayne chuckled, relieved and feeling a mite silly that he'd even worried on it. River was used to him going out to scout and the like. "Yeah. You go get Inara to wash your back."

He mused a bit on River's back as he went back out to roam the streets. Straight, slender, mostly smooth, with a trail of tiny, almost invisible scars marching in pairs down either side of her spine. He'd found those this morning, but he'd made no mention of it, just as she'd said nothing about the numerous scars littering his much bigger body. She'd kissed the slice on his chest, though, the one she'd made, and if he hadn't forgiven her for it before, he would have then. She'd done it in their dreams, but never in reality until now.

He liked the scars, his and hers. It was another thing that they shared, that didn't have to be hid or explained. They were there, and wasn't nothing needed to be said.

He moved silent through the streets, watching the newscasts on the screens, listening to the people. He'd been right. They weren't happy, and they weren't getting any happier.

Miranda. Thirty million ordinary working folk, just like them, sent to their deaths by the government. Government, to the kind of people who lived on places like Beowulf, was Management writ large, foremen and owners and the like, who didn't care about working men and women except insofar as they made money. Something like Miranda would breed anger, even rioting... or worse.

He passed two screens had had something tossed right through them. It'd probably get passed off as kids bein' destructive little delinquents, and never mind that no kid could toss a rock or piece of concrete that big up that high. It was just another hint of the trouble he could smell in the air.

_They was folks like us. What if we're next? If they'd kill those people, their families, then they'll kill us and our families, and who's to stop them? Who'd even know?_ That was what he heard, not in so many words but in the way folks were talking around it. Fear, plenty of it, and fear was worse than the anger. Angry folk made noise, but you could still reason with 'em some. When fear for themselves and their families got mixed up in the anger... he'd seen people killed in riots over lesser things than this, and he hoped any Alliance grunts on Miranda were smart enough to take ship and run for it, because they weren't like to live long otherwise.

He wondered why he cared. Maybe 'cause of that girl in the clip from Miranda. She'd been Alliance, but she'd cried for the dead folk and been sorry for what had been done, and she didn't deserve to die the way she had. Mobs weren't much better than Reavers, for a way to die, and he wouldn't wish either on anyone, even an Alliance ass-kisser.

"... Ben Tan's sister and her family went. He got told as they died when the terraforming failed. That what they told everyone?"

Some from Beowulf had gone to Miranda. Of course. That wasn't gonna help none...

"...heard that the dead wasn't even buried, no words said over 'em or nothing. Just lying on the streets like they was trash..."

Mal had said what few words there had been for the dead, but the angry woman was right, even if she didn't understand why nobody could have gone to lay them decently to rest.

"... member of Parliament killed, that makes eight now. They say it's Independents, but there ain't no Browncoats that far in..."

That man had an intent look, and he was old enough to have fought in the war. Jayne made note to tell Mal and Zoe to keep their heads down, just in case.

"... say Reavers is out there, but there ain't no such. Just pirates an' the like, trying to scare folk."

Jayne was tempted to argue with that guy, puffing himself up like he was so clever, but he slid on by. This was no time to be starting a fight, not with people all wound up the way they were.

"... the You Xiu Li yard? Really?"

That was the yard he'd taken Mal and Kaylee to. Jayne paused, looking around like he wasn't sure which way to turn, careful never to look straight at the pair of girls no more'n River's age who were talking on the corner.

"My brother saw them bringing it in. It was tore up real bad, but it had stuff welded to it and some red paint. He swears it was a Reaver ship!" That one sounded more excited than scared. "Maybe it got captured and they're taking it apart. Maybe there's bones and all inside."

"Ugh!" The first girl shuddered. "You're so morbid, Hannah, that's awful. I bet it's not even a Reaver ship, anyway. My ma says there ain't no Reavers."

"Then your ma didn't see that clip from Miranda. Plain as day, right there..." They were moving away, and Jayne didn't follow.

Hell. He knew he'd missed something. Mal and his gorram stupid plans!

* * *

"It can't be that bad," Mal said, and River could hear uncertainty edging his tone.

"On the street, Mal, on the gorram _street_!" Jayne glared back. His hackles were up, his body-language more than six feet of pure challenge.

It was things like this that drove Jayne to try to take dominance of the pack from Mal. Mal wasn't careful enough. Didn't plan ahead.

"Just teenagers, from what you said. How far could it spread?" Zoe frowned.

"I dunno, but it's out there an' that's bad enough." Jayne scowled. "And what about my kin, Mal? My sister an' her husband work at that yard! What's she gonna think I been doin'? It ain't gonna be haulin' cargo and getting my sorry ass shot at because you can't tell a good job from a bad one!"

Zoe winced. "He has a point there, sir,' she said quietly. "We've been takin' advantage of Jayne's family connections here, and put him in a damned awkward position with this."

"Oh, don't you start!" _Ba ba_ was angry because he knew he was wrong, as often happened. "As tore up as she is, there's no way - "

"The family are worried. Fear that Jayne has fallen in with pirates, walking a bad road." River would have broken it more gently, but Jayne didn't entirely trust gentle. He preferred to hear bad news straight. "They don't want to believe, but it's hard not to."

Jayne swore sulfurously, then reached out to smooth his hand down her arm to let her know that it wasn't her he was angry with. "Hell, Mal, it ain't enough I got to explain taking up with the crazy girl who stabbed me, now I gotta convince 'em I ain't fallen in with crazy killer pirates, too?"

River took no offence at his statement, which was one of fact. In his family's eyes, River was still the crazy girl who had stabbed their kinsman, and thus that was what he had to explain.

_Ba ba_ did take offence. "Well, if that's what you think, Jayne, maybe you should un-take yourself! If River's so damn hard for you to explain - "

"Ain't me thinks that, Mal, but they know I got knifed, can't expect 'em to take kindly to her - "

"Oh, and what, they think you can do better?" Mal dripped outrage, his fists clenched. "I didn't like this to start with, an' if you think you're taking my little girl among folk think she's not good enough, after all she's been through - "

"What the hell do you know about what she's been through? Ain't been you taking care of her all this time, talkin' to her, figuring out what she was saying and what was scaring her - "

Kaylee looked worried, but Zoe leaned against the back of River's chair, her foliage ruffling gently. "Good to see things getting back to normal, isn't it?" she murmured. "We've all been tiptoing around this last week like we'd break if anyone said a harsh word."

River nodded. "A healthful release of tension," she agreed. They had all almost lost each other, and even Jayne had been quiet and more considerate than usual, excluding the outburst when his pairing with River was announced. But the quiet could not last, and she was glad to see them beginning to shed the tension and return to normal. "But less healthful if they start throwing punches. I will take mine away if you will restrain yours."

"Sure." Zoe nodded, grinning and giving River what she recognized as a conspiratorial look between women confronted with recalcitrant men. It was the first time anyone besides Jayne had acknowledged her as an adult, and it made her happy.

* * *

_dong ma - you understand?_

_Wu dong - I understand_

_Ba ba - daddy_

_Ju guei - giant tortoise_

_xiao teng - little dragon_

_Da Ge – oldest brother_

_Bu Jing Chuan - whale-hunting vessel, whale-chaser_

_Bu Lai - good, fine_

_You Xiu Li - Excellent Repairs_

* * *


	4. Chapter 4: Mistaken Identity

**Chapter Four: Mistaken Identity**

* * *

_See Chapter 1 for disclaimers, etc._

* * *

Zoe and Simon went to the hospital again. Kaylee liked the new confidence she saw in Simon since the fight on Universe's moon. He wouldn't never be a fighter, but he'd faced danger and it didn't scare him much any more. And he was happy, taking care of Wash. Simon liked having someone to take care of.

And he was taking care of her pretty good, too. Shy he might be at first, but... River's head whipped around and she gave Kaylee a filthy look, and Kaylee giggled, mouthing 'sorry'. She really shouldn't think of Simon that way right in front of his sister.

Inara had stayed at the boarding-house, planning to contact Sheydra and some of her other former sisters, to let them know she was all right and to find out what the Companion-gossip was about Miranda. There was a look on her face when she looked at Mal that made Kaylee think the Cap'n had finally said something, which made Kaylee real happy for both of them.

Mal wanted to see Serenity, of course, and Kaylee was going with him. She'd have gone earlier, but Jayne had warned her that there was an ugly mood in the city right now and he didn't want her going anyplace alone for a bit. It was sweet that he worried about her, even when he was so busy fretting over his folks thinking he was a pirate or worse.

Jayne and River were on the bus-seat ahead of Kaylee and Mal, and even from the back Jayne looked grumpy. River didn't seem to mind - still, any woman took up with Jayne knew to expect grumpy.

"I like it," River said, turning her head again to smile at Kaylee. "The growling. It's predictable and comfortable.

And that was another thing - now that the poison of Miranda wasn't eating at her, River was making loads more sense. She still talked a little funny, but it seemed like a lot of the times it'd sounded like she was being crazy was just that she was answering something hadn't been said aloud. "I figured." Kaylee grinned. "So why're you two coming with us?"

"Jayne wants to check on the girls," River said, while Jayne grumped wordlessly. "And I wish to see Serenity. Someone should tell her that everyone is all right and will be coming back - I'm sure she's worried."

Kaylee nodded. That might sound crazy to someone else, but every mechanic knew that some things... some ships, and vehicles, and so on, an' even guns, if Jayne was to be believed... got to being a little more than just machines. Something old and loved, like Serenity, got a little personality of its own, and River had always seemed aware of it. "Like the repairs'll go better if you do," Kaylee agreed. "If she thought she'd lost her crew, heart'd just go right out of her."

"Yes." River nodded. "Besides, the confrontation with Jayne's family will be today, and it is important that we all be there."

"Shiny," Mal muttered under his breath.

Without looking around, Jayne made a rude hand-gesture.

Kaylee and River managed to get the grumpy menfolk into the scrapyard and over to Serenity's berth without too much arguing, although it bothered Kaylee some to see the way the techs and mechanics looked at them and at her poor, battered girl. There was still too much of the red paint there, and that nasty gun welded to her back and weighing her down.

Mal walked up the ramp and laid his hand on the wall, looking just as heartbroken as if it had been Inara lying there all busted up. "I'm sorry," he whispered, words not meant for human ears. "I was just tryin' to keep us all alive."

"She knows," River said, laying a hand to Mal's back just the way he'd laid his to Serenity's hull. "Mothers understand."

"That's what 'Nara said." Mal relaxed a little, turning to smile at River. "Still, I won't be easy as to her forgiving me until I've got all that _hui zhen_ off her."

"The gun should be easy enough," Jayne said, looking around the wreck of their hold. "Didn't have time for more'n a half-assed welding job on that, it'll pop right off."

"Good. We're a transport. We don't want to be making a show like we're looking for a fight." Mal sighed, looking at the mess. "At least we didn't have cargo. Never thought I'd be glad of that, but if there'd been anything heavy in here the stairs'd be gone and we'd never have got out."

They moved around, looking and touching some, while River sat on the less-damaged set of stairs and murmured to Serenity and Kaylee pried the face-plate off the airlock controls to take a look. They'd always been finicky, and she wasn't sure she wanted some stranger playing with them, even one as nice as 'Ric.

It wasn't long before 'Ric showed up, all glowery and not nearly as friendly as he'd been yesterday. "You should let us know when you're going to be working on the ship," he said abruptly. "We got to note what you do so we don't charge your captain for it."

"Sure," Kaylee said, shifting uncomfortably as the big mechanic looked at her all cold-like. "Look, 'Ric, I know I shoulda warned you - "

"Warned me what?"

"Company's coming," River called, standing up and drifting gracefully over to Kaylee at the top of the ramp. Mal and Jayne followed, less graceful, and they were bunched together when Cailey appeared at the bottom of the ramp, with a couple of older folks Kaylee figured must be Jayne's parents and a young fellow about Kaylee's own age who looked enough like Jayne to be his brother, and probably was.

'Ric gave River a funny look. "How'd she know that?"

"River's got real good ears," Kaylee said, because that much was true and she shouldn't tell anything more than that. She wiped her greasy hands on her coverall and straightened up, trying to look as cute and non-piratical as could be.

The teddy-bear on the leg of her coverall should help some.

Mal smiled his biggest for-customers smile, probably hoping to ease the tension some. "Well, it's a pleasure to see you again, OtherCailey, and to meet the rest of you. You must be the folks."

Jayne's cold-eyed death-stare seemed to be genetic, 'cause four of them were now pointed right at Mal. "You must be Captain Reynolds," said the older guy, who was at least as big as Jayne, if not quite as broad across the shoulders.

River stepped forward. "This is the captain, and this is our Kaylee," River indicated Kaylee, who smiled and waved. "Captain, Kaylee, these are Jayne's parents, Bess and Flynn Cobb, and his brother Mattie. They are concerned about Serenity's appearance, I think."

"Well, yeah, I can understand how they would be, being as she's dolled up as a Reaver ship." Mal nodded, like it was the most reasonable thing in the world, and out of the corner of her eye Kaylee saw Jayne's fists unclench. Maybe it'd be okay. If Mal didn't get his back up, he could talk his way out of lots of things.

"I did notice that almost right away, yes," Cailey said dryly. "The paint, and all."

"Well, there's a good reason for that," Cap'n said, at his most charming. "A fine, logical reason, and entirely not involving piracy."

"Oh, really?" Flynn Cobb folded his arms, glaring at Mal. "You understand, Captain, why I might be a mite concerned. Bad enough that my son seems to have fallen in with untrustworthy folk, but to bring that trouble here? To our family?" He gave Jayne a dirty look, too.

"Oh, but it ain't like that!" Kaylee piped up, seeing Mal's hackles going up. "We had to go into Reaver space, and Cap'n figured the safest way was in disguise. Reavers don't attack their own, at least most times they don't, so if they thought Serenity was one of their ships they wouldn't give us no trouble. It worked... kinda..." She trailed off on account of everyone except River was giving her looks running from horrified to annoyed to downright disbelieving. "Well, it did..."

"Thank you, Kaylee," the cap'n said, in a 'now shut up' tone.

"You went into Reaver space? On purpose?" Bess's voice was strangled up into a squeak. "Jayne, you lost what little sense you ever did have in that thick skull?"

"Well, it weren't my first choice," Jayne admitted, and Kaylee saw him reach out and take hold of River's hand, without even seeming to know he was doing it. "But there were... circumstances."

"Circumstances? What the hell kind of circumstances - " Oh, yeah. Jayne had gotten that bellow from his daddy.

"The kind that should not be discussed so publically," River said, her sweet voice cutting right through that bellow. How did she do that? "Kaylee, the kitchen is still mostly intact, isn't it?"

"Aside from every dish we got's broke, 'cept the wooden ones." Kaylee nodded. "And the chairs. But it's pretty private."

River nodded. "Then we will go there. Explanations must be made." She turned towards the stairs, tugging Jayne along by his hand, and they headed upwards.

Cap'n looked around at the rest of Jayne's family, who all looked a mite pole-axed. "Well, you heard her," he said, raising his eyebrows. "After you."

* * *

If it hadn't been for River's soft little hand in his, Jayne might have bolted. This smelled of complicated, of explanations and accountability and all manner of things he'd never held with. But River thought it should be done, and if he'd trusted River to take them into Reaver territory and to talk him into kidnapping an Alliance secret agent, he could probably take her word on a family conference.

She had that serene look she got when something she'd known would happen started coming together, and he let that comfort him some as they filed into the kitchen, gathering awkwardly around where the table usually was. (It was up against the wall, now, upside down and with one leg snapped off.)

"So. Explanations." Jayne's pa had his arms folded again.

Mal looked at River. "So, how much should we tell 'em, Albatross?" he asked, sounding like he meant it. Seemed Jayne wasn't the only one inclined to trust her judgement."

"A brief overview will do." River was standing straight, not leaning up against Jayne's side the way she did when she was nervous, but her fingers were still coiled around his. "The Captain fought as an Independent in the war, he and Zoe, who is second in command. It's known, in certain circles, that he has no love for the Alliance."

"Ain't many who do, these days," Cailey's husband muttered.

River nodded. "That's why he took us in, Simon and I," she said seriously. "I was in a hospital, and I overheard things that would have been very damaging to someone highly placed in the government. They tried to make sure I couldn't tell anyone... that's how I got the neural damage Jayne told you about."

"You seem to be talking straight enough now," Bess said, giving River a suspicious sort of look. "Why wasn't you before?"

"I 'spect she was nervous, meetin' all of you," Kaylee said, and Jayne reminded himself to hug her later. She was sweet, the way she stood up for River and him. "She's gettin' lots better, but she still gets all tangled up sometimes when she's tired or upset."

River nodded. "Simon - my brother - took me away from the hospital before they could hurt me any more, but we had to go into hiding. There were warrants out, saying we were criminals."

"That's where I've seen your face before!" Cailey snapped her fingers. "There _was_ a warrant... it got rescinded not long back."

River nodded. "Eventually, someone believed our story - or Simon's. Was only able to communicate sporadically and imperfectly at the time, though Jayne could almost always understand me." She smiled warmly at Jayne, who had to resist the urge to preen. Something about seeing River look at him all admiring made him want to raise his crest and strut worse than Mal when he thought he'd been clever.

"River was in pretty bad shape when she came on board," Mal said, taking up the thread of glossed-over half-truth. "Even Simon thought she was goin' crazy, at first, until he got a chance to do a proper scan of her brain and found the damage those _yao guai_ did. It was months 'fore she could tell us what happened, even with Jayne translating."

"Was that when she stabbed him?" Flynn asked, looking a little suspicious.

"Will ya stop bringing that up?" Jayne glared at his pa, then spread it around the rest of them. "I ain't holding a grudge anymore, so I don't see why you should. She coulda killed all of us in our sleep if she'd wanted to, but she didn't. She just wanted to get my attention, is all." He paused. "I mean, she coulda found a better way, but I ain't mad no more."

"And in fairness, you did smack her halfway across the room at the time." Mal kindly didn't bring up what else Jayne had done in retaliation. "Not that even her brother blamed you, under the circumstances."

"Jayne!" Cailey sounded shocked. "You hit that bitty little girl?"

"She _stabbed_ me! It was a reflex!" Sisters were just gorram weird. Cailey had been pissed as all hell about Jayne getting stabbed, even if she'd been nice to River when Jayne asked her to, and now here she was telling him off for hitting back.

"Anyway!" Mal raised his voice some. "River's cute crazy moments aside, we were talkin' about why Serenity's dressed up the way she is."

River nodded. "It is highly confidential," she said seriously. "We carried an Alliance investigator through Reaver space, to a classified destination. Chosen because the captain was known to have no great loyalty to the Alliance and would not try to protect it against its own folly. There was risk, but the pay was good and we needed it. Had to disguise Serenity to pass through Reaver space."

Kaylee and Mal looked unhappy at the reminder, and the others just looked puzzled, but Mattie's eyes narrowed. He was standing in back of the others, quiet and almost forgotten, but watching everything. "A classified destination through Reaver space," he said quietly. "This investigator... maybe he found something? Something that got broadcast over just about every screen in the system?"

Bess went pale and Flynn cursed quietly, while Cailey's man put a protective arm around her shoulders. Kaylee looked down at her hands and Mal shifted uncomfortably. "Can't speak on that," he said quietly. "Shouldn't even have told you this much, but... well, you're Jayne's kin. Don't want you thinkin' he's done bad when he ain't."

Flynn nodded slowly, looking searchingly at Jayne. "This true?"

"Pruned all to hell, but... yeah." And it was, mostly. His family didn't need to know how much worse it was than even the Miranda-tape could speak to. "Those folk... Alliance thought they could play God and hide it when it all went to shit. Weren't right."

River squeezed his hand gently. "Jayne was heroic," she said quietly. "Saved Wash from the Reavers."

"That's true," Kaylee said brightly. "Wash is our pilot. He lost his leg, but he'da been killed an' worse if Jayne hadn't been there. He dragged Wash right outta their hands an' carried him to where we hid."

Jayne knew he was going red, but he was gonna buy Kaylee the biggest box of strawberries he could find. Strawberries _and_ chocolate. He'd glossed over Wash's injuries with 'hurt in the crash' when Bella asked, but having them know he'd been brave was... well, kinda nice. Hadn't been many things in life he could honestly be proud of, and the awestruck look on Cailey and Mattie's faces was worth every bit of the embarrassment. His ma'n pa looked proud, too, and Flynn reached over to tap his son's shoulder very gently with a closed fist. "You always did have more balls than brains, boy."

"Well, that's why I hired him." Mal shrugged. "Anyway, none of this is to be spread. I imagine you know as most folks ain't too happy about that broadcast, be they in favour of the Alliance or not, and I don't want more trouble coming down on me and mine than we've already found. For the first time in close on a year I don't got any wanted criminals on my boat, and I'd like not to go courting more excitement."

"We understand, Captain." Bess looked over at Cailey and her husband. "Think you can cover some for how the boat looks?"

The man... Ulric, wasn't it?... nodded. "I took a look this morning. There's a lot of scrap welded to the outside, but it _looks_ like a rush job. So does the gun on top - if it is a gun."

"Oh, it works. I made sure o' that. You handle it careful." Jayne knew the mess up atop Serenity wasn't much of a gun, but his pride demanded he defend it, seeing as it was all his own work. "But it was all done fast an' sloppy, being as we had about two hours."

"It shows." Ulric made the same face Kaylee did when confronted with shoddy work. "It does look like the sort of thing someone desperate would throw together to try to get into... or out of... Reaver territory without gettin' caught. They spread out further every year - won't be no trouble to put it about that your captain got caught on the ground and made what shift he could to get his crew out alive."

"I'd be grateful," Mal said sincerely. "I swear to you, I ain't a pirate, nor anything like. I was a soldier, once, but the war's over now. Won't say everything I do is legal, but smuggling some livestock or runnin' a few black-market medicines don't hurt nobody. I ain't leading Jayne into anything worse than anyone has to do to get by out on the Rim."

Jayne snorted. "Hell, I've done more strictly legal work for you than I did in the ten years 'fore you hired me," he said, giving credit where it was due, even if Mal was glossing over a fair bit of actual crime. "You'll run cargo and passengers legal if you can, which is more'n plenty of smugglers do, an' you don't steal from them as hires you."

Cailey snorted. "An honest crook, huh?"

"Sure ain't no criminal mastermind." Jayne grinned at her. "Life's hard here, but it ain't nothing to life on the Rim. Half the colonies out there'd starve or die off for want of medical supplies, weren't for the smugglers and the black-market dealers, or get picked clean by scavengers if there weren't trustworthy guns for hire. Mal's got a good rep - don't pay big, most times, but I've had worse work." It wasn't lying, not exactly, if he just didn't mention the other stuff, the heists and the thefts and everything.

Bess nodded, and none of them were doing good at hiding their relief. Smuggling and the like were facts of life even here, never mind further out on the Rim, and ordinary folk tended not to think bad of those who did it. Smuggling took coin out of the Alliance's pockets, not theirs, and if the Alliance wouldn't ship medical supplies or clear out bandits, well, they'd the right to pay someone else to do it. He might not be the church-going, honest-working sort they'd have liked, with six or seven kids and a nice normal wife, but he wasn't too great a shame to them.

At least not that they knew of. But he pushed that thought away with the ease of long practice. He was doing better now.

"This place is _luan qi ba zao_," Cailey said, looking around. "You're gonna need help getting it cleaned up."

"You're working today," Bess said briskly. "I'll round up Bella and some of the older kids. Emma's girl can take care of the little ones."

River tugged on Jayne's hand, and when he looked down at her she was looking at Mattie. He was standing to one side, bein' ignored as everyone else got made useful. Jayne knew that feeling - it was how he felt when everyone was planning some caper and ignoring him 'cause he was too stupid to be any help.

"Mattie, if you ain't busy, you can give me a hand," he said, and his brother's eyes lit.

"You sure?" Bess gave her youngest a worried look. "He gets tired easy..."

Mattie bristled. "I'll be fine, Ma!"

"'course he will." Jayne shrugged. "I gotta hunt down some supplies an' all. He's been livin' with you all his life, Ma, he's gonna know all the best places, an' between the two of us we'll get a good price."

"The big scary man discount!" River and Kaylee chorused, grinning.

"Damn right," Jayne said, pleased to see Mattie straighten up proudly. Wasn't no man didn't like hearing two pretty little things say how big and impressive he was. "I get a pretty good one all by my lonesome. Figure the two of us should do just fine."

"I'll bet," Kaylee said, giving Mattie a look that made him straighten even further. Strawberries covered in chocolate, definitely. "If you're gonna have him, Jayne, can I snag River? I could use another set of hands."

"Sure. Unless she wants to come shoppin'." Jayne looked down at her. Usually he went shopping with Kaylee and River, and he hoped she wouldn't mind getting ditched so's he could get to know his youngest brother.

River shook her head, smiling at him. "I will help to mend Serenity. Go frighten people into giving us things at a discount."

Jayne extended a hand to Mal, who scowled. "Oh, fine." He dug in his pocket, handing over a few notes. "Protein, coffee... basics. No luxuries. We'll shop again when we know how much we got left."

* * *

Mattie hadn't been sure what to expect of Jayne. He was the oldest, and he'd run off to the Black when he was fifteen. Aside from him probably still having Pa's dark hair and Ma's blue eyes, none of the family had even been sure what Jayne looked like anymore. The short letters he occasionally sent, with money, provided Mattie with little information besides the fact that his brother struggled to write more than the shortest words, and he shared the Cobb appreciation for a good honest bitch when things weren't going right.

He watched Jayne, as they moved through the market, and tried to figure him out. He was huge, as tall as Pa and with the layered muscle of someone who worked at it a lot more than anyone worked in a factory had time to do. Mattie had noticed an overturned rack of weights in the corner of Serenity's hold, and figured those likely belonged to Jayne. And yet Jayne didn't seem like the type to work out just to make himself look good.

Mattie watched, and noticed the worn patches on Jayne's belt that said 'holster' and the knife that was still there. He observed the walk that was almost a stalk, calculated to intimidate and then worn down into an unconscious habit. He watched the way his oldest brother always looked around at an unexpected flash of movement, the way his eyes flicked constantly from point to point, observing everything around him.

"You waitin' for me to grow an extra head or somethin'?" Jayne turned away from the stall where he'd bargained hard for rice, to be delivered to the scrapyard that afternoon.

"Just trying to figure you out." Mattie fell into step beside him, trying not to be too pleased that Jayne had wanted his help, that they were out bargaining for supplies together as near-equals.

"Yeah? What're you figurin'?" Jayne didn't set a fast pace, but he wasn't obviously slowing down for the invalid's sake, either.

"You're a merc. Hired gun. Not just a guard, like River said, but a real fighter." Mattie shrugged, letting himself be just a little pleased when Jayne looked surprised. "I used to run messages around the spaceport, before my lungs went bad. I remember what they look like."

Jayne shrugged. "Yeah, well, you ain't wrong. I've been workin' as hired muscle since I was sixteen. Ain't much of a hand to pilotin' or the like, but I'm a good tracker and a good shot. There's always work for a gun-hand."

Which was true... but by and large, the work wasn't even remotely legal. When a man was hired for legal work of that kind, he was called a bodyguard or a deputy. Thieves needed mercs. Smugglers too, sometimes, but the real money was in crime - theft, extortion, protection-rackets, piracy... "So why're you working on a transport? Reynolds can't be paying you half what some might, if you're that good."

Jayne looked him up and down and grinned the same wicked grin that their pa still produced on occasion. "Ain't so dumb, huh?" he said, sounding approving. "Brains don't run in our family, as a rule. Guess you'n Sora are the exceptions."

Mattie blinked, not sure what to say, and Jayne shook his head in a self-deprecating way surprising in someone who looked so much like a big, unthinking thug. "I ain't no genius, never have been. It ain't much use in my line of work anyways. As to why I work for Mal... well, like I said, I been doing this for twenty years an' change. I've lived long, for a hired gun, an' that don't happen if you hire on with any _hun dan_ looking to make a lot of money quick. Mal ain't the sort to sacrifice a hired hand, even one he ain't over-fond of, and that's worth more'n coin. I don't share a bunk, I get a fair cut, an' the company ain't all bad."

Mattie smiled a little at that. "River and Kaylee seem like good company," he said, pointing down another street. "That way."

Jayne turned, nodding as he went. "Kaylee's a ray of sunshine an' no mistake, although that'll get on a man's nerves sometimes. An' River..." He cleared his throat. "Well, I ain't inclined to talk all sentimental, but I like havin' her around."

That was an understatement. Big bad Jayne was obviously besotted with the little doll-like girl from the Core, and Mattie wondered how long that was likely to last. Not long, according to Bess, but Mattie figured there had to be something to it, else why would a determined bachelor like Jayne be taking up with her at all? It couldn't just be for sex - Reynolds didn't seem like the kind of man who'd tolerate that kind of trifling with the women on his crew.

(Stifling the envy was a matter of habit, but still not easy. No pretty girl with big melting eyes would take any notice of a sickly invalid like him, even if River and Kaylee had been sweet enough to pretend.)

Jayne kept talking, clearly wanting to move away from the subject of River. "Zoe and Wash - they're married folks. He's the pilot, she's the first mate. He's kinda soft, but he's not bad. Makes a lot of stupid jokes. Never been sure what a woman like Zoe sees in him, but they're happy enough. Then there's Simon, River's brother..." Jayne grinned. "He ain't overly fond of me, neither, but he's a good doc. And there's 'Nara... she's a licensed Mediator an' Counsellor who's all kindsa sweet on Mal. Fine-looking woman, even if she got no judgement at all, comes to menfolk."

Mattie snickered. "Now you sound like a Cobb," he said, grinning. "Ain't a one of us don't like a good bitch now an' then."

That made Jayne laugh. "Yeah, point. Mal ain't so bad, he just gets on my nerves sometimes. An' he don't like me gettin' so friendly with his little girl, neither. He ain't got none of his own, so he's come over all fatherly-like with River, an' some with Simon too."

Mattie couldn't help laughing himself, at that. "Stuff of romantic sagas there, _da ge_," he said, surprised at how easily he fell into teasing his big, gruff brother. "Her family not approving of you, and yours just as fretted over her."

Jayne blushed again and Mattie suspected that only River could make the big, tough man do that. "Yeah, well... Mal and Simon can't say no to River for long, so I figure I'm safe enough," he muttered. "And Ma'll take to River, she just needs time to get used to the idea."

"Maybe." Mattie didn't want to get his hopes up there. "This is the best place if you're buying protein in bulk. I'll wait... he'll talk for an hour if I go in." And he could rest while Jayne haggled, not that he wanted to admit that.

"Right. Back in a few, then." Jayne nodded, checking for vehicles before moving to cross the road.

Before he went, Mattie heard his own voice before he realized he'd spoken. "Jayne?"

Jayne turned, eyebrows raised just a hint. "Yeah?"

"Why River?" Mattie asked. "I mean, she's pretty, but you must've seen more pretty women than I've had antibiotic shots. Why her?"

Jayne shrugged, looking away, his face dull and blank... and then he looked back, and a shrewd light flickered in the blue eyes and the wicked grin appeared again. Mattie blinked to see the sudden shift from dumb thug to canny merc. "The hell, maybe you would get it... you figured I was a merc and you're right. Damn good, too, one of the best. I've lost count of how many've tried to kill me, and I've always walked away, even from the ones willin' to die to get to me." He shook his head, smiling. "But that tiny little girl could drop me 'fore I even knew the fight had started. Armed, unarmed, any way there is."

Mattie thought on that a moment. He swallowed hard. "Wow."

"Yeah." Jayne turned, checking the road again, and crossed without looking back.

* * *

_dong ma - you understand?_

_Wu dong - I understand_

_Ba ba - daddy_

_Ju guei - giant tortoise_

_xiao teng - little dragon_

_Da Ge – oldest brother_

_Bu Jing Chuan - whale-hunting vessel, whale-chaser_

_Bu Lai - good, fine_

_You Xiu Li - Excellent Repairs_

_Hui zhen - Poisonous filth (I think)_

_Yao guai - monsters, demons_

_luan qi ba zao - a huge mess._

* * *


	5. Chapter 5: A Home Is Not A House

**Chapter 5: A Home Is Not A House**

* * *

_See Chapter 1 for disclaimers, etc._

**Author's Note: I'm sorry for the long delay in posting - I haven't been well, and things got pretty crazy over the holiday season. But I have my new special edition of Serenity that I got for Christmas (remember, if EVERYBODY buys one there might be another movie, Alan Tudyk said so!!), so I'm trying to get back into the swing of things now. Thank you to everyone who sent feedback or asked if I was okay - I really appreciated you guys thinking of me. And special credit to gemmage, who noticed the discrepancy in the number of Cobbs - yes, they are one brother short, but I never thought anyone would notice this soon! Explanations are forthcoming, I promise.**

* * *

Zoe had liked the ship right off.

She hadn't let on to Mal, but she'd seen some of what he had in the old ship. She was beautiful, in a run-down way, and freedom had a good sound to it. Zoe would never love Serenity the way Mal did, but the ship was the closest thing she'd had to a home for longer than she cared to remember.

It felt good, seeing that home being pulled into shape. Three generations of Cobbs, from Jayne's tough, solidly-built mother down to a ten-year-old niece with Jayne's blue eyes and stubborn jaw, were rendering Serenity cleaner than she'd been since she was new. Somewhere out in the city, laundry was being done. Zoe had happily donated all of the clothes she and Wash still had, as well as sheets and blankets, to this worthy cause.

Zoe herself, not being of a particularly domestic turn, was working with Jayne to get the harpoon out of Wash's chair. It wasn't skilled work, so there was no point in wasting someone they were paying on it.

Jayne tightened the rope around the sharpened tree-trunk. "How is he?" he asked, and the hand he was resting on the back of Wash's chair showed what was on his mind.

"Doing well enough." She shrugged, tossing the last of the broken glass into the tub they'd brought in for the purpose. The only way that thing was coming out was back through the window, and no point in knocking more glass around the place than was already there. At least the window was clear, now, and could be fixed. "Simon says he'll be fine. A few months and he'll be able to get a prosthetic."

"Good." Jayne kept working for a moment. "Wouldn'ta thought he had it in him," he said, in the serious tone that meant he'd been thinking something over for a while. "The bit with the laser pistol, I mean."

"Neither would I." Zoe nodded, forcing her eyes away from the ruined chair. If it weren't for the Tams, brother and sister, she'd have lost Wash twice over that day. Three times, if not for Jayne as well. "Thank you, by the way."

Jayne blinked up at her. "For what?"

"You offered to do it, if Simon couldn't." Zoe hadn't really registered it at the time, but it'd come back to her later. Jayne offering to do the job the gentle Simon might not be capable of, and holding Wash in place with as much care as she might have herself.

"Yeah, well..." Jayne shrugged, seemingly uncomfortable with the sentiment. "He did fine. He's a tough little guy, for all he's kinda soft."

"Yeah." She hadn't taken to Simon Tam too well at first. Now... well, Wash and Mal were still the guiding stars of her life, but Simon had his own little twinkle going now. She trusted him with her men, and that was something she'd never done before. "I'd worry, if I was you. He decides he don't like you bein' with River, he might do something about it."

That made Jayne laugh, as he tossed the end of the rope up to her. "He already did, once. While after the heist on Ariel, he did the same thing to me he did to Javert, all unmovin' and stuff."

Zoe stood up, getting a good grip on the rope. "That when he found out you sold 'em out?" Jayne stared at her, and she grinned slightly. "Doesn't take a genius, Jayne, for all Simon's been tapdancing around it whenever it comes up so's no-one'll get mad at you. If he and River don't hold a grudge over it, ain't none of my business."

Jayne snorted, getting a good grip on the harpoon and pushing upward as Zoe pulled. "Yeah, well... he ain't thrilled 'bout me and River, but he wants her to be happy. Long as I take good care of her, he won't poison me in my sleep or nothin'."

Zoe nodded. That sounded about right - of course, if Jayne _did_ treat River badly, Simon would probably never get a chance to hurt him, on account of River doing it first. "It's catching on the rim. Try'n angle it up a little more."

Jayne put some of his considerable weight on the lower end of the harpoon. "How's Mal doin'?" he asked after a few minutes of hard work, when the harpoon was starting to work loose. "He gonna melt down on us again once we hit the black?"

Mal did have something of a tendency to hold it together through all kinds of stress and then go ape-shit over some little thing wasn't even connected. Zoe shook her head. "He still ain't resigned to you an' River, so there'll likely be more fighting over that, but he's holding together. He won, this time. Makes a difference."

It felt strange to be explaining Mal, which she usually didn't do even for Wash. But Jayne was Mal's favourite target, when he was having his little melt-downs, and he was entitled to know whether he should be bracing himself. And Jayne had saved Wash from the Reavers.

Jayne nodded, letting it go at that, which was another reason why she'd been willing to explain some. Jayne wasn't one to get into long conversations about people's feelings, once he'd clarified as to whether any of those feelings were likely to be vented on his face. "One more should do it. You braced?"

"Yup."

Zoe had loved the ship almost as long as Mal had. Loving them on it had taken longer, because Zoe didn't love easily. But Miranda had sealed the bonds that were already there, and woven new ones just as tight. They were a family, and it felt good.

* * *

Inara didn't know how to fix Serenity. She could fly her shuttle, and she could probably move Serenity if she had to, but she could only use the intact machines. She didn't know how to put them together or fix them when they broke.

Nor could she help the women of the Cobb family, from matriarch to the youngest girls judged old enough to work. She'd tried, but they didn't trust her 'Core-i-fied' manner and made it clear that she wasn't much use with a scrubbing-brush.

But she wanted to do something, so she'd accompanied the others, and now she was helping Mal sort through the debris of his personal possessions. She hadn't expected it, but he'd invited her down into his bunk with the awkward air that meant he showing some real part of himself. And this was an intimacy she never would have expected from him. She'd seen him naked. She'd never anticipated seeing his sock drawer.

She picked through the clothes, surprised to find that they'd been orderly once, before Serenity had been thrown around so badly. Worn and threadbare in places, but stored clean and folded neatly. She wondered if that was a matter of being a soldier, or of being Mal.

"Jayne's sister is doing laundry, I think," she said, unfolding the worn blue shirt that she'd always liked on him. It was missing a button. "She had River collecting things this morning."

"Well, that would explain where my dirty clothes went." Mal pointed to a patch of floor currently littered with paper and a couple of captures. "The little albatross still has some work to do on personal boundaries."

"We all do, I think. Things have changed since Miranda, for all of us." She smoothed the shirt gently. It was worn soft, just as she'd imagined.

"Well, if she sticks to takin' my dirty laundry away and getting it taken care of, I can live with it." Mal crouched, picking up a crumpled piece of film that had some kind of blueprint on it. "I heard Bess trying to get into Jayne's bunk a while back. Had to pretend I couldn't unlock it."

"Probably for the best." Inara had never seen Jayne's bunk, either, but certain surmises could be made.

"Man his age is entitled not to have his mother diggin' through his bedroom." Mal grinned. "Besides which, if any of his extensive weapons collection walked away with some tech or one of his nieces, I'd never hear the end of it."

"I agree, on both counts." Inara looked down to find that she was still stroking his shirt, and then up to find that he was watching her, a small smile on his face. She blushed, but she didn't jerk her hand away the way she would have once. "I've always liked this shirt," she said quietly.

"Really? Never did occur to me that you might pay mind to what I wore." He moved closer, not touching her, but looking at her in that way that left her naked and defenceless, with all her walls tumbling down around her. "I always liked that dress you had that had the sort of coloured panels front and back, over the black. You had plenty of costumes that showed more, but you always seemed... I dunno, softer in that one."

Inara found herself returning his smile. "I still have it. It was one of my favourites."

"I'd like to see it again, some time." He reached out to touch a curl that had escaped her braid and lay against her cheek. His fingers were so close to her skin that she could feel their heat. "Am I the only one got no notion at all what to do now?"

She shook her head, bringing her cheek into contact with his fingers. The touch made them both shiver. "More than a decade of training, and none of it's of any use to me now. I know how to counsel other people through problems in their relationships, but having one myself..."

Mal nodded. "It's a little outside my field, too," he admitted, brushing his thumb lightly over her cheek. "I've just about got bein' a leader down, whether I'm gettin' called 'Sarge' or 'Captain', and I'm getting the hang of the mindin' of the younguns, between River and Kaylee, but this... this is beyond my ken. It's a little worrisome."

"I'm ashamed to admit it, but knowing that you're worried too does make me feel a little better." Inara set down the shirt carefully, reaching out to take his free hand in hers. "I'm confident we'll figure it out, eventually... but it'll take time."

He nodded, not seeming at all put out by that. "Time we finally have, and I'd as soon not damage whatever it is we have here with too much hurry," he said, smiling teasingly down at her and making her knees weak. "And it's a comfort to me too, knowin' you can't read my thoughts and see how nervous I am unless I tell you."

That reminded her, and she frowned a tiny bit. "That reminds me. There's something I meant to tell you, but I forgot... there was no privacy to discuss it on the tug, and by the time we got here..."

He blinked. "What reminds you of the what?"

"Jayne wasn't exactly thrilled about how everyone took the news of his relationship with River, and - "

"Wait, we're talking about Jayne again? How did we get from taking things slow to Jayne? I'm not seeing any kind of connection there... especially since he ain't been but a month between writin' River off as a crazy little girl and bringing her home to meet his folks." Mal looked as off-balance as he sounded.

"It was what you said about me reading your mind that reminded me." Inara twined her fingers with his, to compensate him for the sudden change of subject. He still looked puzzled, but he squeezed her hand gently. "He was ranting to Book, when I found him. His complaint - and it wasn't an unreasonable one - was that while claiming he was too old or not good enough for her might be valid, it was unfair to assume he'd treat her badly when he'd been taking such exemplary care of her until then."

Mal grumbled quietly. "Well, seducin' her ain't exactly - "

"Mal, believe me. River was the one in hot pursuit, and Jayne resisted for far longer than any of us would have expected him to." Inara shook her head, smiling. "Kaylee got her to talk about it, while we were all bathing. She wasn't exactly forthcoming with details, but she did complain that he wasted far too much time worrying over whether she was in her right mind and capable of making such a decision. I got the impression that it wasn't until Miranda that anything was resolved between them."

"Well. Guess he ain't quite the lecherous swine I was figurin'," Mal said, still frowning a little. "But how did what I said remind you - "

Inara frowned too. "When I found him having his rant, he said something about everyone knowing meaning that at least he won't have to run halfway across the ship in his bare feet every time she has a bad dream."

"I don't like the idea of them sharing quar..." Mal trailed off. "Wait... ain't that the wrong way around? How would _he_ know if she's havin' a bad dream?"

"That was what I wanted to know." Inara shook her head slightly. "He looked at me as if I was an idiot and asked me if I thought she could hear thirty million dead from across the system but couldn't wake him up when she wanted him."

Mal looked like he'd swallowed something and then felt it move. "Her hearin' other folk I'm gettin' used to, but... Jayne hearing _her_? When did that happen?"

"He told me that that was none of my business, which I suppose wasn't unreasonable. And perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned it, but..." Inara sat down on the edge of Mal's hard, narrow bed, looking up at him. "This is complicated, Mal. I know you still don't like that Jayne and River are together - "

"And liking it less by the gorram minute!"

"- but if whatever tie there is between them has become reciprocal, it may not be possible to separate them... and it might be dangerous to try. River's mind is still fragile."

Mal sighed, some of the anger going out of him, and he sat down beside her, still holding her hands. "And she's been tellin' us for months that she's leanin' on that stony brain of his, hasn't she?"

Inara nodded, leaning against his side. It felt comfortable... like being with Kaylee, almost, but at the same time unlike. There were no expectations here, not any more, just the two of them being together. She liked it. "She has. But I never would have expected Jayne, of all people, to be sensitive enough to meet her halfway."

"I would." Mal sounded annoyed, and when she gave him an inquiring look he rubbed his hand over his face and sighed. "He looks at her way I used to look at you, when I thought you weren't watchin'. Like she's the sun and the stars all in one, and he knows he'll get burned if he puts out his hand to her but he's doin' it anyway 'cause he just can't help himself."

"Oh, Mal..." Inara rested her cheek against his shoulder, squeezing his hand gently.

"Oh, sure, it sounds all poetical when I say it like that." He was blushing, realizing how much he'd admitted, and he hurried on. "But look at how often we hurt each other, reachin' out for that fire. You think Jayne's going to keep invitin' that hurt? Or that River'll understand why he pulls away from her?"

"We did. Eventually."

"Well, yeah." Mal put his arm around her shoulders, hugging gently. "I just... it ain't that I don't think he cares about her, because a blind man could see he does. I'm just worried as it won't be enough. I don't want that _dà sha gua_ breaking her little heart."

"Every heart gets broken sooner or later, Mal. You can't prevent it."

"I know." He sighed. "Don't mean I can't try."

* * *

Simon hadn't thought much of Serenity, at first glance.

He'd thought she was dirty, cramped, ancient... beneath them. A necessary evil. He'd been appalled by the idea of remaining on her long-term, and he'd hurt Kaylee with his open contempt. He still felt guilty for that, and for a lot of other things he'd said to Kaylee without the least intention of hurting her.

But he'd seen River fall in love with the ship, the way she would drape herself over walkways and press against the walls, even in her madness showing flashes of greater happiness than he'd ever seen in her. Serenity had become her home, and then in some peculiar way, almost a mother.

Simon would never love Serenity the way River or Kaylee did, as an entity in and of itself, but he loved it as a home. His cramped little infirmary and bare cabin fitted him in ways he hadn't thought they could, in ways the hospital and his spacious apartment never had. He was useful. He was _needed_.

"Hey, she's almost back to normal-looking!" Wash had begged, pleaded and demanded to see his ship. Eventually Simon had arranged a wheelchair and a vehicle, knowing that his patient wouldn't rest properly otherwise. Now Wash pointed happily at the workmen who were levering the last of the welded-on mining-equipment off Serenity's hull. "Come on, let's go surprise everyone with the sunshine of my presence."

"Of course." Simon pushed the chair up the ramp with some effort. Even without his leg, Wash was _bigger_ than he was. And heavy. "Hello?"

"Wash!" River saw them first, running down the stairs with merry disregard for the lack of railings. "You are ambulatory!"

"Sort of, yeah. How you doing, sweetpea?" Wash hugged her as soon as she got close enough, and River hugged back, cuddling up happily. "You and Jayne doing okay? Mal not put a chastity-belt on you yet?"

"Would like to see him try," River said, grinning as she stood back. "Jayne and I do well. Still early days."

"Well, that's good - Zoe! My autumn flower!" Wash waved. "Look, I'm outside the hospital! I'm moving around! Admittedly I'm being moved around by Simon, but I'm not in bed! Isn't it great?"

"Yeah, it is." Zoe tried for her usual laconic tone, but she came down the stairs almost as fast as River, and kissed Wash soundly as soon as she reached him. "I hate to break it to you, honey, but your chair has met its maker. We're going to have to replace the whole thing."

"Well, y'know, it gave its life for mine." Wash smiled up at her, looping his arm around her hips. "It's okay, baby. It'll be a while before I need one anyway."

Simon moved away, letting them have their moment. He'd been doing that a lot - Zoe was as private about personal moments as he was, and he was sure she appreciated his respect for that. River followed him, and he smiled, looping an arm around her shoulders. "How goes the mending of Serenity, _mei mei_?"

"Well. She is getting better." River smiled. "I tidied today, come and see."

He followed her into the infirmary, past a man he didn't recognize sitting on the floor of the lounge-area, and a knot of tension he hadn't realized was there unwound. It was _his_ infirmary again, imperfect but mostly tidy. It was clean, smelling faintly of disinfectant, with the scratchy brown blankets neatly folded and all the lights glowing. "River... thank you. This is... you didn't have to do this."

"I know. But it makes you happy." She smiled, coming over to hug him around the waist. "I'm not scared of the room any more, and I want my _ge ge_ to be happy."

"I am. Thank you." He hugged back. "It's wonderful."

"Mattie helped. He is the smallest adult of the Cobb clan." River indicated the man sitting on the floor, who looked to be about Simon's age. He was sorting through a stack of cushions, setting a few with tears or other damage to one side. "Like me. Both wanting to help, but shooed away by the larger members of the pack."

Simon offered a hand to Mattie, who got to his feet before taking it. Smallest member of the clan he might be, but he still topped Simon by at least three inches. "Thank you for this," Simon said, and the side of him that was always a doctor first noticed the slightly shallow, rapid respiration, the signs of prolonged illness, and recalled that Jayne's youngest brother had 'the damp lung'. Tuberculosis, poorly treated - probably chronic, rather than degenerative, but not stopped until it had permanently shattered the man's health. "I appreciate it."

"He means he's glad that it was you, not Jayne," River added, sounding amused. "Simon doesn't trust the big ones, they're careless. Hands trained for guns are murder on the delicate equipment."

Simon's wince wasn't feigned, and Mattie smiled slightly. "I wondered why you asked me. I figured it was 'cause there's nothin' heavy in there." Mattie had Jayne's leisurely drawl, but he sounded... not more intelligent, exactly, but more educated.

"You meant more intelligent," River said, giving him a pointed look.

Someday, perhaps, Simon would get used to her answering thoughts he hadn't voiced. "Well, he does."

Mattie looked confused, though. "Did I miss somethin'?"

"My brother was thinking that you sound smarter than Jayne." River put her little nose in the air. "He and Jayne don't get along. He thinks Jayne is stupid, and Jayne thinks he is a fancified Core-boy with no more common sense than a kitten."

Simon glared at her, although he couldn't put much heat behind it. "About which I'm right and he was once _somewhat_ right, but isn't now."

Mattie grinned. "Must be nice only havin' one sister. An' smaller than you, at that. I got three, all older'n me."

"You have my deepest sympathies," Simon said pointedly.

River stuck out her tongue. "I'm going to find my Jayne, who is not at all stupid. If I see Kaylee, I _might_ remember to tell her that you're here. If I decide I like you again. This is an unlikely possibility." She made a show of stomping off, leaving Mattie and Simon to their mutual amusement.

"She sure seems to like Jayne," Mattie said, and Simon noticed that he was unobtrusively leaning against the wall. It must have cost him to help clean the infirmary, even if his pride almost certainly wouldn't let him admit it. "They're recent, right?"

Simon nodded. "Very. I'm... well, I've been more thrilled." He remembered who he was talking to, then, and wished he could unobtrusively kick himself. "Not that I mean... he's just so much older than she is, and it's all... uh... you must be glad. To see him."

"I am. It's nice to finally get t' meet him." Mattie shook his head. "He ain't exactly what I was expectin'."

Simon blinked. "I'm sorry, maybe I misunderstood... meet him?"

Mattie looked surprised. "Well, yeah. I wasn't but two when he left. Don't remember him, and he ain't exactly been sending pictures home. Wasn't even sure what he'd look like."

Two. And he looked around Simon's age. "Jayne left home twenty years ago... and never came back?"

"Twenty-one. Years, I mean." Mattie nodded. "He and Ma'n Pa had some kinda big blow-up and he stormed out. He writes, an' sends money sometimes, but this is the first time he's ever been back."

"He would have been... what, in his mid-teens?" It had taken all of Simon's courage to defy his parents and leave their house, even for River's sake. Even as an adult. And he wasn't sure he'd ever forgive his parents for making it necessary. He couldn't imagine what would drive a child in his teens, even a child-Jayne, to do something so drastic and yet leave that child still close enough to his family to want to write and send money home. "Why in the worlds..."

Mattie shrugged. "I was too little. By the time I was old enough to understand, nobody talked about it anymore." He looked after River, his thin face thoughtful. "I know this is the first time he's ever been close enough with someone to even tell us about her, let alone bringin' her home. And Serenity's the first boat we knew he was workin' on. Most times he never wrote anything about where he was or what he was doing."

Simon thought, from the way Mattie said it, that Jayne's family probably had a good suspicion as to why that was. "Serenity has changed all of us, I think," he said quietly. "When I came on board I was... well, a fancified Core-boy with little in the way of common sense, Jayne's right about that. But this ship... this crew... they seem to have a way of bringing out the best in people. River loves it. It would break her heart if she ever had to leave."

Mattie nodded. "Ma's still hoping Jayne will stay," he said quietly. "That he's finally got the itch outta his feet and he's ready to settle down. He told her he was going with Serenity, and a blind man could see he'll go wherever River does, but..." he shrugged. "Mothers hold on, even when everyone else sees that it's hopeless, you know?"

Simon nodded, his stomach tightening. His mother had tried, in her way, to hold on. She just hadn't wanted to believe that anything was wrong. Maybe she still didn't. Maybe she was still pretending to herself that Simon and River were going to come home someday and everything would be all right. "I can't speak for Jayne, but I wouldn't think it's likely, no. He's not... I just can't see him settling down."

"Neither can I." Mattie shook his head. "Well, she'll get used to it." He straightened up. "I should go see if anyone needs any help. I'm sure I'll see you again, Doctor."

"Simon. Please. And I'm sure you will." He would see if he could wangle an examination. Maybe there was something he could do.

* * *

River hummed Serenity's song, even though mere human vocal chords couldn't really reproduce the music of a ship. She lay in one of the ducts over the engine-room, rewiring circuits damaged in the crash, and let her mind expand.

Kaylee was directly below her, humming a different but harmonious tune as she worked on Serenity's engines with the same deft sureness that Simon did when he worked on a person. She was in surgery, and everything was going right.

She sensed Wash, still in pain but comforted by the presence of his two loves, Zoe and Serenity. He was stronger than the others knew - he had survived the tortures of _Feng Guang_, he would survive the brief brush of the Reaver's hands. Zoe was comforted, too, having him nearby, and she would take good care of him. And there would soon be a small Washling, which would be joyful.

Mal and Inara were nearby, still nervous and uncertain, but taking their first tentative steps in a dance they could dance together, instead of around each other. She liked hearing _ba ba_ so happy, and Inara's butterflies tickled River's stomach too.

Simon was in his infirmary, his tiny kingdom, and as happy as Kaylee in her engine-room. River was glad he'd finally realized that he was as needed here as he was at the hospital - more so, since so few of the moons they visited even had a surgeon. He could do good here, and that was the most important thing to Simon.

Jayne was in his bunk - still his, for now, although she knew he wanted her to share it with him - showing Mattie the girls. Jayne was down-playing his violent tendencies to the rest of the family, but since Mattie had guessed, he could be told things. Jayne was still a little uncertain around his younger brother, but pleased to be able to share things with him. Mattie was happy, accepted as a man among men and particularly taken with the graceful SuXiao pistol that had first taken River's eye, as well.

River was smiling when her incautiously extended thoughts brushed another mind. _It happens to plenty of men that age... meet a pretty little thing and think it's love, but it never lasts..._ Bess Cobb was telling herself, frowning as she polished the scratches from the table-top. _She ain't the kind to settle, anyone can see that... and how'd she be able to care for younguns, when she can't even take care of herself? Jayne should have a family, even if he's getting old for it... but it won't last, and maybe then he'll settle down..._

River dragged all the tendrils of herself she'd extended back into her mind, her smile falling away and her hum as silent as Serenity's damaged engines, but she couldn't un-hear the thoughts she'd heard. A passing fancy, too young, too damaged... no children, and Jayne should have children...

Jayne did love her. He did. She _knew_ he did, had heard it singing through him when he kissed her, felt it glow when he touched her...

But forever was a long time, and what if it went away? Bess thought it would, and she knew far more about relationships than River did.

"River? Sweetie?" Kaylee's voice drifted up. "You went all quiet, you okay up there?"

River bit her lip. "Jayne's mother doesn't like me," she said quietly.

"Oh." Kaylee was wincing, River could hear it in the sudden jangle of the sweet chimes that were Kaylee's sense. "Well, maybe she'll take to you once she sees as you and Jayne are serious."

River shook her head, even though Kaylee couldn't see it. "She wants him to settle. Have a family. Won't, with me."

Kaylee tinkled in sudden surprise. "Wow. I didn't know as you was thinkin' that far ahead. But you could - "

"No." River felt the denial all the way down to her toes. "There will be no blood of my blood, now or ever."

She had never told Jayne that. What if it made a difference?

* * *

_dong ma - you understand?_

_Wu dong - I understand_

_Ba ba - daddy_

_Ju guei - giant tortoise_

_xiao teng - little dragon_

_Da Ge – oldest brother_

_Bu Jing Chuan - whale-hunting vessel, whale-chaser_

_Bu Lai - good, fine_

_You Xiu Li - Excellent Repairs_

_Hui zhen - Poisonous filth (I think)_

_Yao guai - monsters, demons_

_luan qi ba zao - a huge mess._

_dà sha gua - fool, idiot, jerk, or 'big silly melon'. (I swear, that's what the translation said!)_

_mei mei - little sister_

_ge ge - older brother_

_Feng Guang - Scenic View, the POW camp where Wash was held during the war._

_Bao tu - thug_

* * *


	6. Chapter 6: Not A Happy Ending

**Chapter 6: Not A Happy Ending**

* * *

_See Chapter 1 for disclaimers, etc._

**Author's Note: Once again, sorry for the long delay. The good news is that I'm getting around on crutches now, my husband's visa issues are sorted, and three of the four kittens have found good homes. The less-good-now-but-hopefully-good-later news is that I've finally admitted that yes, a Complete Rewrite is required on Part Two. Hopefully having made that decision, I will be able to move forward. Remember - feedback is the crack-habit that keeps writers writing! **

* * *

Jayne didn't have a hope of keeping all his nieces and nephews straight, he'd realized that right off. Jen, the ten-year-old who looked just like him, belonged to Sora. He'd seen her enough on Serenity to pick her. The younger of Bella's two, Ace, was identifiable through having both a silly name and a permanent smear of dirt on his nose just like Kaylee's. Lou, the one kid Tigh had had before he passed, had long black hair and her mother's pale grey eyes, so she was noticeable. Both his nieces were tough little scrappers already, and he liked that, and Ace had the true Cobb stubbornness, even at five.

The others more or less blurred into a crowd of kids, tots to teenagers, who were somewhat wary of their big, gruff new uncle. Jayne was fine with that. He wasn't overly keen on kids at the best of time, at least not until they got old enough to conversate and so forth, and having a whole herd of them about made him feel a mite wary himself.

He'd forgotten how big his family was. How there was always someone underfoot. Always someone asking questions. Always people watching him, for good reasons or bad. It itched him more than he'd expected it to. He wasn't used to it no more.

On Serenity, the only person who watched for him like that was River. Mal would get mistrustful on occasion, but most times, especially out in the black, he'd pay no real mind to Jayne unless Jayne did something to annoy him, being too busy fretting on Inara. Inara returned the favour. Zoe and Wash were mostly taken up with each other and their captain and ship respectively, ditto for Kaylee and Simon with their engines and infirmary.

Even before he and River had been paired official-like, he realized, they'd been settling into being one of the four pairs on Serenity. He'd played with her and minded her and soothed her when she had a scared or angry fit. He missed that. Mal and Inara, Zoe and Wash, Simon and Kaylee... they were always around, but they weren't Always Around. They didn't follow him to his bunk or make him talk when he didn't want to or anything like that, they were just there. And it'd been a long time since he minded having River want his attention.

"Underfoot," River said quietly, sliding up beside him. He was sitting up on top of Serenity, his feet dangling down into the upper airlock. In theory he was checking the seals. In practice, he was hiding. "Too many. Lots of yapping."

He snickered at the way her pointy little nose was all wrinkled up. "Yeah, that's why I'm up here, too." The younger kids weren't here today, but there were more nieces and nephews than usual, and the noise was getting overpowering. Kaylee and Simon had already fled to 'buy equipment', and even Zoe was looking set to abandon her suffering captain.

"Big family," River said quietly. "I counted. Eleven nephews, eight nieces. Would be more, but Bella cannot have more, and Mattie has none because he's sickly, and Tigh was lost."

Jayne had never mentioned Tigh to her. Didn't talk about it at all. "Yeah. Most folk have big families, hereabouts."

"Must factor in mortality rates," River said, and it woulda sounded cold and uncaring if her voice hadn't been so sad. "Bear too many young, so enough will survive to continue the line."

Jayne nodded, tucking his arm around her shoulders. It was kind of a cold way to look on it, but he'd been a merc long enough to know about odds. Of his ma's eleven pregnancies, only seven had lived to adulthood... and of those, only five had had kids. "Kaylee was sayin' something about Wash and Zoe wantin' to start. Getting anything on that yet?"

River nodded, cuddling up against his side all warm and kitteny. "A little Washling impends. Can feel the possibilities threading. And Simon will help."

Jayne choked. "Simon will _what_?"

River poked his ribs. "Give her vitamins and shots," she said, and he just knew she was rolling her eyes. "Do doctor things. Not _help_ help."

"Well... good." That had just been an unsettling mental image.

"Ah!" River squeaked and grabbed her head. "Don't think that!"

"Well, you brought it up!" Jayne pushed the image away, thinking hard about stripping and cleaning Lux.

After a minute, she relaxed. "Thank you. It's bad enough Simon and Kaylee keep behaving like amorous rabbits. I don't need the pictures from you too."

Jayne nodded apologetic-like, although he couldn't help grinning. "Doc's finally worked up the nerve, huh? Kaylee'll be happy."

"She is. Very. But I wish they wouldn't start in the engine-room while I'm in the ducts," River said, making the cutest little 'yuck' face. "Yesterday ranked high on both Simon's and my own lists of Most Embarrassing Moment Shared With Sibling Ever."

Jayne sniggered. "I'll bet. Right there in the engine-room, huh?"

"It's Kaylee's favourite spot. We'll have to knock before going in, now." River grinned. "Also, retaliation would be pleasant. Perhaps if Simon walked in on - "

"No."

"But - "

"I ain't puttin' on a show for your brother and that's final," Jayne said very firmly. "You got an evil little mind, girl."

"I know." She looked at him as innocent could be, all big eyes and tiny pout. "And I'm a crazy killer woman could feed you your own ears before you even knew they were gone, too."

He laughed, leaning down to kiss the pout. Kissing on the mouth was all kinds of nice when it came to River. "Yeah, but I like that in a woman."

"I've noticed. You're very strange." Her arms went around his neck. "More, please."

He kissed her again, since she'd asked so nice. "Crazy killer woman _and_ shameless little hussy," he muttered, grinning against her soft lips. "Like that, too."

* * *

Bess knew Jayne was avoiding the conversation. It was typical of him, no less at thirty-six than at fifteen. He knew it was going to be difficult, he knew he'd get put on the spot, so he was trying to dodge it.

She eventually got him by cornering him and flat-out ordering him to start on fixing up the table's two snapped legs while she cleared out the mess of broken crockery and so on out of the kitchen cabinets. He sulked and grumbled some, but he did as he was told.

She watched him for a bit, still trying to understand the big, mean-looking man her little boy had grown into. He worked silently, his scowl relaxing into simple concentration as he screwed in a bracket to hold the snapped leg together. No point in replacing what could be repaired, after all.

"If you got something you want to say that bad, just go ahead," he said after a minute, looking up in time to catch her surprised expression. "I ain't got this old without learnin' a thing or two 'bout womenfolk, Ma. You drag me in here and then stand there watchin' me and not talkin', I figure there's something you want to say but you don't know how to start."

"Well, maybe you have learned a thing or two while you been gone." Bess smiled just a little. Jayne had been mighty keen on girls, when he'd left, but he'd had about as much notion of how to talk to 'em as he did of how to knit. According to his sisters, he'd got his face slapped damn near weekly. "You been gone a long time, Jayne. Don't rightly know where I should begin. Maybe you could start with tellin' me how you took up with these folk?"

Jayne shrugged. "Mal hired me, is all. It's a good job, Ma... pay ain't exactly regular, but my cut's decent and it's a good crew."

Bess frowned. "The captain's a Browncoat - "

"War's long over, Ma, and Mal's a good boss. Looks out for his crew, don't treat us like we're expendable."

"And the doctor..." Bess trailed off, frowning. "He seems kinda... well, he's..."

Jayne blinked at her and then he laughed. "Doc ain't sly, Ma, li'l Kaylee could swear to it. He's just Core-bred, he can't help bein' prissy." He shook his head. "I know they ain't the kind of folks you're used to, 'cept maybe for Kaylee, but I'd trust every one of 'em with my back if things went bad... well, 'cept maybe Wash." He shook his head. "Wash is a good man, one of the best, but he panics."

The blond man in the wheelchair had seemed nice enough, if flighty, but Bess could surely see why Jayne wouldn't want to lean on him in a fight. "Just seems like a real motley bunch, Jayne. Can't figure as to how you'd all wind up workin' together."

Jayne shrugged again, finishing up with the last screw and giving the leg a little shake to see if it wobbled any. "Just kinda worked out that way, I guess. Works for us."

"I guess." Bess nodded. "I know you said you wasn't stayin', but - "

"If you mean stayin' on Beowulf, then no." Jayne shook his head, a familiar mulish look settling over his face. "I'll be shippin' out on Serenity, when she goes."

"You been gone twenty-one years, Jayne Cobb, or close to. Ain't you been away from home long enough?" She hadn't meant for it to come out all accusing, but it did.

He tensed up, the way he always had when he was a kid and feeling the sharp edge of her temper. "I'll write more. Maybe come by when I can," he muttered guiltily. "But I can't stay. Anyways, River'd never leave Serenity."

Bess frowned. "Jayne, tell me for true... how serious are you about this girl? Ain't been two weeks yet that you've been together, an' already you're planning your life around her?"

Jayne shrugged, looking down at his hands. To her surprise, she thought she saw a faint blush on that weatherbeaten face. "It's hard to explain, Ma."

"Ain't all that hard," Bess said, trying not to get angry with him. Jayne never had been too bright. "It happens, Jayne, 'specially 'round your age. Comes on sudden, you think you're in love, then - "

Suddenly Jayne was on his feet, glaring at her. "What is it with all you folk actin' like I'm some kinda horny idiot don't know what's goin' on in my own head?" he snarled, and Bess found herself stepping back a pace. She didn't think for one second that Jayne would ever so much as threaten her, he'd never been like that, but it was a shock to see him so angry. "Mal thinks I'm gonna treat her bad, you think I'm gonna lose interest, 'Nara's trying to warn me off on account of how it won't be easy..." He kicked one of the broken chairs hard enough to bounce it off the far wall.

"Well, I ain't gonna treat her bad, I ain't gonna lose interest, and I _know_ it ain't gonna be easy. But you know what? I don't have to explain this to you! Only person I owe any kinda explanation to is River, and we got things worked out just fine!" Jayne seemed to realize he was shouting and he turned away, clenching his fists and taking a couple of deep breaths. "Sorry."

"Raised you better'n to think you can shout at your Ma like that," Bess said quietly.

"I know." He took another deep breath. She heard it whoosh out of him. "'s just... I ain't good on talkin' about this stuff. Makes me all manner of uncomfortable. I've said what needs saying to River, and we got a good understanding. Just don't see why it is everyone else in the 'verse seems to think I got to explain it to them too."

Bess nodded, even though he wasn't looking. She felt almost guilty now, for bringing it up. She should have remembered how awkward Jayne's tongue got when it came to talking about feelings and the like, and how much it bothered him when he was made to. "I'm just worried 'bout you, is all," she said quietly. "Far as I know, you ain't ever been this serious before, an' she's awful young."

"I know. Everyone keeps remindin' me, even if just lookin' at her weren't enough." Jayne sighed, rubbing his hand over his short hair. "Look, Ma... I been grown and independent twenty years now. I don't hafta explain myself to you or anyone else... 'cept maybe her brother, 'cause God knows I'd have words t'say if I found out one of my sisters took up with a mean old _bao tu_ like me. But it's 'tween me and River, and that's where it's staying. If you don't like it, fine."

He didn't look at her, just walked out, his big shoulders slumped a little.

Bess had only ever seen him slump defeated-like that way once before, and the next morning he'd been gone before she woke up. She got to work again, her hands shaking, and while she worked she prayed to God that he wouldn't disappear again.

* * *

Jayne had retreated to his bunk. He didn't want to go near River when he felt like this... it upset her when he was spiky.

His bottle of cheap rotgut whiskey had survived the crash.

A few drinks in, he was feeling both better and worse. The knotting tension was gone, but he was _annoyed_. Everyone kept picking at him about River. Was none of their gorram business if he was crazy in love with his crazy girl. That was between them, wasn't it? He didn't go around asking Mal what his intentions were towards Inara, even if he did like Inara and think Mal treated her like crap. He didn't go bug Simon about his intentions towards Kaylee, who was practically like a baby sister to Jayne, all cute and annoying and teasable.

Come to think of it, why _hadn't_ he bugged Simon about his intentions? Simon certainly did have it coming.

Nearly everyone was gone - the cleanup was now officially done, and Bess had herded the chattering crowd of Cobbs off the boat. Simon was probably still around, though.

And River wasn't around to stop him, 'cause she'd banged on his hatch some time back and called out that she and 'Nara were going out to buy new dishes for the kitchen. She'd also said something about bears hibernating, which he took to mean that she knew he'd be out when he was feeling more sociable.

Or, he thought, climbing the ladder with some care so as not to drop his bottle, more ready to pick a fight. He wasn't drunk or nothin', just... relaxed. Just wanting to make sure Simon was gonna treat Kaylee good like she deserved. At least Simon did _try_, which was more than could usually be said for Mal, but the boy was prone to some truly spectacular fuck-ups.

Simon was humming - boy could carry a tune, which was surprising - and doing more of his endless tidying in the infirmary. Or maybe he was putting away that stuff he and Kaylee had gone out for today. Anyway, he just about leaped out of his lily-white skin when he turned around and saw Jayne in the doorway. "Gah!" The doc all but clutched at his chest. "What are you doing here?"

Jayne drew himself up to full height and looked down at the doc. "What're your intentions towards Kaylee?"

Simon blinked. "What?"

"You're sleepin' with Kaylee. Gettin' her all set on you. You better not be fixing to break her heart, run on back to the Core and leave her behind all heart-broke," Jayne said firmly. "'cause if you do, I'm gonna hunt you down, hurt you for a while, then drag you back so _she_ can hurt you, _dong ma_?"

Simon shook his head, making that puzzled face he wore way too often. "Why would I be intending to hurt Kaylee?"

Jayne hadn't actually got that far, so he fell back on feeling injured. "Hell, I dunno. Why would I wanna treat River bad?"

A penny dropped somewhere in the doc's shiny, well-groomed head. "Oh. You're making a point."

"Everyone thinks it's their gorram business why River and I are... just _are_." Jayne scowled. "Next person asks me 'why', that person's gonna be shittin' hair for weeks on account of me shoving their head right up their _pigu_."

"Of course." Simon wrinkled his nose. "You've been drinking, I see."

Jayne scowled. "So?"

Simon shrugged. "Just an observation."

"I ain't drunk or nothin'. I just figure everyone's been so busy pickin' at me that nobody's had any words with you on the subject of Kaylee, and how you best treat her right." Jayne felt that he'd lost some of the advantage here, so he tried scowling. "So... what're your intentions?"

Simon opened his mouth.

Simon closed his mouth.

Simon sighed. "Can I have some of that?"

Jayne blinked. The advantage was definitely lost, so he handed over the bottle. "You won't like it."

Simon took a couple of gulps, and didn't even wince. "When I was a medical student, we used to dare each other to drink sake laced with wasabi," he said, smiling slightly at what must have been a damn impressed expression. "If you screamed, cursed, or cried, you had to take another shot."

"Huh." Rich kids did the weirdest damn things. "When _I_ was a kid it was 'if you puke, you gotta put more in'."

"I think I'd have preferred that to having eight incredibly drunk medical students standing around trying to analyse my stomach contents while they were spread out on the ground." Simon grinned quickly, then it flickered away again, like he was embarrassed or something. "Look... honestly? I have no idea what my intentions are. I have no idea what _her_ intentions are. I'm completely out of my depth. Go ahead and laugh, it's the truth."

Jayne did consider laughing. The lost-puppy look on the boy's face was kinda funny.

On the other hand, it put him powerfully in mind of Mattie, all of a sudden, and that wasn't funny at all. He had an uncomfortableness around his youngest brother, a tugging kind of feeling that kept trying to tell him that maybe if he'd been around more, things mighta been better for Mattie. Maybe they coulda paid for more medicine early on, or he could've taken the kid with him when he did take off. Mattie seemed pretty smart - they might've made a good team. Brains and brawn, like him and River... or even like the doc, who wasn't half bad at plotting crime when he saw a need to.

And Simon was River's brother, which if Jayne and River were going to be together as long as he wanted, he better start behaving nice an' brotherly too. So he didn't laugh, just shrugged and took back the bottle, taking a good long swig. "You an' me both. Ain't one of the crew or my family but's prodding at us about where we're goin', when we ain't even talked on it between ourselves yet."

That made Simon laugh a bit, and the boy slouched back comfortably against the exam-bed-thing that was too short for Jayne's big carcase. "Two weeks isn't long enough, is it?"

"Hell, no." Two months probably wouldn't be long enough. Jayne was figuring to just keep on the way they were - sexin', staying close, dreaming together - until it actually came up. "Sounds like li'l Kaylee's got you all turned about already, though, even 'fore she's started dropping hints about rings and the like."

"I wish she would, actually." Simon looked about fifteen when he made that face, all bashful and confused. "At least then I'd know what to do."

"Which'd be?" Jayne made himself comfortable against the edge of the counter, facing Simon.

The boy flushed. "Uh... buying a ring?" he said, making it into a question.

"Two weeks and you're already thinkin' on getting hitched?" Jayne felt his eyebrows climb. He sure as hell hadn't got that far... River moving into his bunk, sure, but only 'cause they both hated sleeping apart.

Simon held out his hand for the bottle. "Kaylee is... special," he said, taking a smaller gulp this time. "And I'm... traditional. Or stuffy, if you prefer. If I'm..." His thin face went pink again. "If I'm physically involved with someone, then it's a serious relationship. With commitment, and courting gifts, and... everything."

Huh. That was sloppy as all hell, but almost cute. Kaylee deserved it, too - someone who'd treat her nice and court her proper, not take advantage of her liking for a good tumble and then move on. "So why don't you?" Simon shrugged, looking down at his feet. "Because she's _not_ hinting yet. Because... what if I move too fast, and scare her off? Or what if she's not that serious at all? Or what if I say something stupid _again_?"

Jayne was hardly tempted to laugh at all, this time. If River hadn't been River, all inclined to explain things and tell him just exactly what was on her mind - and his - he'd probably be in just the same fix. Especially the 'saying something stupid' part. "So get River to find out for you. The womenfolk have been gettin' together and talking a fair piece lately - she probably knows just exactly what Kaylee wants you to do."

Simon shook his head. "While I'm sure that's true," he said, and there was a hint in the way he drew out the words that said the whiskey was starting to hit him. Kid never could hold his liquor. "While I'm sure that's very true and probably quite helpful, I am _not_ going to ask River to resolve my love-life for me. I'm just... not. Asking my baby sister how to court my maybe-future-wife is just too..." He trailed off, apparently searching for the right word.

"Pitiful?" Jayne suggested helpfully.

"Pitiful. Yes. I refuse to be quite that pathetic." Simon nodded. "I mean, apparently I'm desperate enough to ask _you_ for advice, which is also pitiful..."

"Surely is, but at least we're both men," Jayne said seriously. "An' I'm all, you know, older'n you. Ain't so sad that way."

Simon looked at the bottle and shook his head. "It disturbs me that that made perfect sense to me," he said, and took another swig before handing the bottle back. "Yes. We are men, speaking of women. It's less pathetic than asking my _sister_ about girls."

"Damn right." This being nice to Simon thing was a lot easier than Jayne had thought. When he wasn't all up on his dignity, the doc wasn't nearly as annoying. "Well, what'd you do if you was back in the Core, makin' up to some fancy lady?"

Simon frowned. "I'd... well, I'm not very good at impromptu courtship, you may have noticed that."

"Im-prom-what?"

"Making it up as I go along. Winging it."

Jayne considered what he'd heard of some of Simon's early attempts. "That's for damn sure."

Simon winced and nodded. "I'd probably have gone with a traditional _Jing Ai_ courtship series... uhm, a series of small gifts and prearranged meetings and so forth, each with certain traditional meanings and... I'm really a lot better with something pre-planned, and it can be quite romantic if you do it properly."

Jayne nodded slowly. "Well, I can't speak to romantical, not havin' any tendencies that way myself, but that sounds like courtin' to me. Why can't you just do that, and explain to Kaylee what it's all s'posed to mean?"

Simon blinked at him for a minute. "You know, it may be the foul alcohol you just gave me, but that actually sounds like sort of a good idea. Except I'm not sure I could explain it to Kaylee. I tend to mortally insult her whenever I try to say something romantic, and Wash hasn't really been available to explain to me how it's done."

Wash certainly was the person to ask, and Jayne nodded. "Well, does 'Nara know all this _Jing Ai_ stuff?"

"I would assume so. Courtship rituals are - "

Jayne shrugged. "So have _her_ explain it to Kaylee."

"I'd feel almost as pitiful going to Inara to help me with this as I would River, she - " Simon stopped in mid-sentence and stared at the wall for a second. "Unless I went for the _formal_ version and... that's a great idea, Jayne. Thanks."

"Welcome." Jayne frowned. "Wait, did I just help you get things goin' with Kaylee when I come in here to yell at you? How the hell'd that happen?"

"I took shameless advantage of your slight inebriation." Simon grinned suddenly. "And River wants us to get along."

"Well, yeah, there is that. She gets powerful pouty when we fight." Jayne nodded. "Hey, it's gettin' late. We should get goin' back to the boarding-house, or we'll miss dinner."

"Of course." Simon looked around the sparklingly-clean infirmary. "And Jayne?"

"Yeah?" Jayne took one more mouthful then put the cap back on the bottle.

"What are your intentions towards my sister?"

Jayne couldn't quite muster up a proper 'annoyed', after they'd talked about how Simon wanted to do right by Kaylee and all, and anyway, the boy's little grin said as he was stirring Jayne up on purpose. So Jayne gave him the honest truth. "Gonna take good care of her. Make her happy."

The little grin turned into a sudden, warm smile. "Well... good." Doc patted Jayne's shoulder as he passed. "If you ever need advice on the same subject, feel free to ask."

Jayne would sooner ask even _Zoe_ for advice, since at least she'd managed to get married without help, which argued for her being significantly better at it than Simon even if she'd laugh herself silly at Jayne if he asked her for romantical advice. But saying so wouldn't have been tactful, so he didn't.

* * *

Simon would never have anticipated forming any kind of bond with Jayne, even a brief one over a bottle of whiskey and talk of women. He'd almost forgotten a moment shared in a room on a nameless moon, when Jayne had done exactly what he needed done without question or argument, and offered to do what he thought Simon might not be able to.

But for that brief space in the infirmary he'd once again seen a different side to the gruff, crude mercenary. Jayne was no genius, but he was forthright, and observant in his way. He had a way of getting to the heart of the matter that Simon almost envied - and a capacity for listening to other people's problems that he never would have suspected.

Was this what he'd been doing with River, that had brought them together? Listening to her incoherent rambling and offering straight-edged, simplistic solutions that nevertheless somehow worked? Simon had wondered lately exactly what Jayne had been doing while he was 'watching' River. Listening hadn't been high on the list.

Now he followed Jayne - walking steadily and showing no sign that he was at the least mildly drunk - and pondered. Stone. River had called him stone. Layers of meaning there, as there often were with River these days... stolidity, certainly, but also security, reliability... no softness, but maybe warmth...

Thinking, he almost walked right into the very stone he was considering when it stopped abruptly. "Fight," Jayne said succinctly, pointing ahead - two doors down, a fight had overflowed from the bar where it had no doubt started. Two men, by the look of them too drunk to aim a punch, staggering in circles with one man's head lodged under the other's arm. Then another man, coming through the door with a bottle in his hand and shouting something unintelligible at the sight of the two fighters.

"I can't see," Kaylee complained, leaning on Simon's shoulder as she stood on tiptoe.

"I hope he ain't fixin' to break that bottle," Jayne muttered, clearly watching the third man. "He's gonna... oh, yeah, there he goes..."

Simon saw it too, as the man lifted the bottle and brought it down. He'd never seen it done, but he'd seen the results of a number of attempts by amateurs. In theory, it left the bottle-swinger with a jagged-edged glass weapon. In practice...

"That's gonna leave a mark," Jayne said smugly, as the man found himself with a handful of broken glass and started howling in pain.

Simon nudged Kaylee in Jayne's general direction - Jayne would look after her - and headed for the man bleeding copiously from the hand. He would almost certainly be fine, but a little care now might prevent some permanent damage later. The man wasn't quite as big as Jayne but he was taller than Simon, clutching his wrist with his undamaged hand and gasping in pain as he sat propped against the wall.

Simon was already opening his medical kit. He never went anywhere without it, hadn't since Miranda... something deeply psychological, no doubt, but since it didn't interfere with his functioning he'd decided to wait until they were on Serenity again, when he could consult with Inara in private. She was a good counselor. She'd be able to provide any assistance he needed in working through it.

"I'm a doctor," he told the man, who was staring at him through watering eyes. "I don't think this is too serious, but if you'll let me take a look at it, I'll see what I can do."

The man nodded, holding out his bloodied hand pathetically. Something for pain, first, and then the torch he'd learned to carry pulled out to inspect the damage. Somewhere behind him the scuffling stopped, and he assumed Jayne had caught up. Just the sight of Jayne tended to stop fights, just in case he decided he wanted to join in.

The hand wasn't too badly damaged, and the bleeding wasn't as severe as it could have been. "You'll need to go to a clinic or a hospital to get the glass removed," he told the man, who still seemed reasonably alert. "I've taken out the larger pieces, but - "

From nowhere, something hit his shoulder, knocking him from a crouch into an undignified sprawl. Simon looked up to see two men standing over him... the two who had been fighting? Another two? He didn't know. But they were both glaring down at him, and one spat, the spit landing on the grimy pavement by Simon's knee. "What're you doin' around here, Core-boy?"

Simon shook his head, bewildered. "That man is hurt, I was - "

The non-spitter grabbed him by the front of the shirt, dragging him to his feet. "You see the Miranda clip, Core-boy?" he growled, and this one _was_ nearly as big as Jayne. "We did."

The spitter nodded, flexing his fist. "Comin' around here, talking all fancy, dressing pretty like a girl," he growled, squinting as if he couldn't quite pull Simon into focus. "Think we should be grateful, huh?"

Both drunks were significantly bigger than Simon. And there were more of them now, standing in the doorway of the bar, watching. He could hear a quiet murmur that didn't sound sympathetic, not at all...

Then, none too soon for Simon's taste, Jayne did catch up, Kaylee clinging nervously to the back of his coat. Jayne separated Simon from the non-spitter by the simple expedient of taking hold of the relevant arm and twisting until the non-spitter had no choice but to let go. "What the hell you playin' at?" Jayne asked, accent noticeably rougher than usual. "Boy ain't but half your size, an' tryin' to help your buddy besides."

"He's Core," the spitter said, pointing accusingly. "Alliance's pretty, shiny best. His kind ain't welcome here, not after Miranda. Gonna show him he ain't welcome."

Jayne blinked, and then his eyes went cold. "He's a _doctor_, dumb-ass!" he snarled, straightening Simon up with one hand while he gave the spitter a shove with the other that nearly knocked the man over. "They all talk fancy, goin' to them schools an' all. An' you may be all set for nice folksy-soundin' doctors here, with the Alliance clinics an' all, but out on the Rim we take as what we can get, _dong ma_?"

"What's a pretty-boy like him doin' out on the Rim?" the spitter asked, sounding confused.

"Doctorin', you moron!" Jayne smacked him upside the head. The spitter wound up on the pavement this time. "Works a transport, gets around to the outer planets that way. I seen him do everything from stitchin' up smugglers to goin' to a whorehouse to deliver a baby. Don't you try'n git all uppity on him 'cause he sounds prissy! He can't help it, an' he's done more for folk like them on Miranda than you ever will, so shut your mouth!"

There were more men out on the street now, and Simon wasn't sure hitting the drunks and shouting at them was a good idea. As surreptitiously as possible, he eased in front of Kaylee and hefted his kit. It was pretty heavy. If he swung it hard...

Someone - greying hair, but not too old - helped the spitter to his feet. "Solomon, you get your drunk ass back in the bar and have Chie sew your lips shut 'fore you get in real trouble," the greying man told the spitter, giving him a good shove in the right direction.

The non-spitter was inclined to protest. "But Chen, that guy - "

"That guy's standin' for his crewman, just like you oughta," Chen said, shoving the non-spitter towards the bar as well. "We ain't none of us feelin' any love for Core-folk now, but goin' after a boy as just stopped to help a man was hurt don't make you no better'n them." He looked at Jayne, then jerked his head meaningfully towards Simon. "You oughta keep him off the streets, times like this. He's too young t'know better, but you ain't."

Jayne nodded. "Didn't figure he'd go runnin' into any fights," he said, giving Simon a reproving look. "Thanks."

"No charge. You're right about needin' every doc they can scratch up, further out." Chen shrugged. "I don't gotta like it."

Jayne hustled Simon and Kaylee away as Chen herded the others back into the bar. Simon looked back as they went, and was relieved to see the older man checking on the injured one who'd started the whole thing, and who hadn't said a word the whole time.

"Don't do that again," Jayne said, with a very final sound to his voice.

"He was injured, I couldn't - "

"I can't cover you and Kaylee both in a fight, so _don't do that again_."

Simon nodded silently, and Kaylee squeezed his hand as they hurried towards the boarding-house. Was she disappointed in him again? She always seemed to think he should be more of a fighter. He couldn't ask, and didn't know what else to say, so they walked in silence.

The minute they reached the boarding-house, Jayne marched into the dining-hall, found Inara and River, and told them they weren't going anywhere, not so much as across the street to the bakery, without him or Mal.

Inara protested, insisting that she could take care of herself. River said nothing, but looked at Jayne with an expression Simon couldn't read.

Jayne told Inara that he wasn't Mal and pouting wasn't going to work on him. It wasn't safe and that was the end of it, and if she didn't believe him she could just ask Simon what happened when you went around being Core-i-fied on the street and getting noticed. Not safe. Not going to happen.

River cut across Inara's spluttering to agree that it was best that those who couldn't conceal their origins to remain under guard. She did it in her flawless mimcry of Badger's accent, perhaps to remind him that she wasn't one of those people.

Kaylee smiled at Simon when he looked at her, and squeezed his hand, and chattered over dinner, but she didn't say anything about the almost-fight, even after Jayne and River had gone upstairs and Inara was complaining to Mal, who'd just come in.

What if she did think he was weak? Simon wouldn't blame her.

* * *

Jayne knew he'd been dumb, trying to tell River she couldn't take care of herself, but he knew he was right, too. He was angry all over again, the brief good mood Simon had set gone now, and he got into bed while she was still brushing her hair, turning his back and pulling the blanket up around his shoulders.

It was the first time since they'd been together that he hadn't lain down with her in his arms. First time since they'd hit Beowulf that there hadn't been sex before they'd even considered sleep. Well, time was bound to come, he told himself, angry all over again because he felt wrong without River cuddled up against him.

He heard her moving around, then felt her climbing in beside him. Her breathing was so damned quiet, he found himself having to strain to hear it.

"It's not all right," River said quietly.

He didn't turn over, even though he wanted to. "What?"

"Everything. Miranda caused more wounds to open. Your family don't like me. Simon is afraid Kaylee thinks he's weak. Inara misses her pretty things. Zoe cries when nobody will see because she almost lost Wash." River sighed. "Not a happy ending. Just life going on, with all its imperfections."

Jayne nodded against his pillow, feeling his unfocused anger ease up some. River was right. Miranda had been so big, so final, that it felt like everything should be different, after. But it wasn't. People were still people, family were still family, little things still got bigger than they should be when people got their feelings hurt.

River's arm slid over his ribs under the blankets, and she nestled in against his back. "Misgivings, doubts, fears... all carrying them," she whispered. "All of us. Makes us alive. Makes us human. Nothing to fret on."

He shifted back a little, so she was tucked in nice and close. "'m sorry," he muttered. "I'm just in a foul mood. Don't you pay me no mind."

"All my mind, entirely paid to you," she murmured, lips brushing the back of his neck. "Mind and heart and disparate weapon-parts. Shh. Sleep. You'll feel better."

He went to sleep with her curled against his back, not dreaming, but waking once or twice to feel her breath tickle his neck.

* * *

__

dong ma - you understand?

Wu dong - I understand

Ba ba - daddy

Ju guei - giant tortoise

xiao teng - little dragon

Da Ge oldest brother

Bu Jing Chuan - whale-hunting vessel, whale-chaser

Bu Lai - good, fine

You Xiu Li - Excellent Repairs

Hui zhen - Poisonous filth (I think)

Yao guai - monsters, demons

luan qi ba zao - a huge mess.

d sha gua - fool, idiot, jerk, or 'big silly melon'. (I swear, that's what the translation said!)

mei mei - little sister

ge ge - older brother

Feng Guang - Scenic View, the POW camp where Wash was held during the war.

Bao tu - thug

Pigu - ass

Jing Ai - respectful love

* * *


	7. Chapter 7: Old Wounds

** Chapter 7: Old Wounds**

* * *

_See Chapter 1 for disclaimers, etc._

**Author's Note: This has been an intensely problematic chapter to write - it's been rewritten more often than any part of the series to date. I hope it works now - I'm at the point where I can't even tell any more. But in better news, I saw Jewel Staite at Supanova Pop Culture Expo and she signed my copy of 'Finding Serenity', which still makes me squee. She did a Q&A session as well, was funny and clever and articulate, and if any of my readers were actually there, you heard me speak - I was the one who blithered out the incoherent question about Zoe and Kaylee's relationship. (She said Kaylee saw Zoe as a Momma Bear - it's from the actor's mouth! It's Practically Canon! I am so putting that in!) Ahem - fangirl squealing aside, I hope everyone enjoys this chapter. Must go finish 'Serenity Found' now, and if you don't have a copy, why not? It's Essays About Firefly! Goodness abounds!**

* * *

Mal, despite a certain amount of evidence to the contrary, wasn't stupid.

He'd been a leader of men and women for a long time. He knew the relief of victory, that did away everyone's differences for a while because they were alive and safe and too happy to let little things annoy them. And he knew that it didn't last, and that tempers were like to get a little short for a while as his people tried to settle into their lives again.

He could sense tension now, and he wanted to get back into the Black. The crew would settle easier once things were back to normal. Jayne was testy this morning, and Inara had hinted that things weren't quite right with his family. River was too quiet, Simon was twitchy, and Zoe looked tired and wrung-out. She was spending nearly all her time either working on Serenity or at the hospital with Wash, and Mal conjured as she wouldn't be sleeping properly until her man was home and her home was fixed.

"One more full day, Captain, that's the minimum, and then only if you pay enough to double the men I have working. There's two sections of hull left to replace, and there's no way to fudge that or leave it for later. She'd come apart in re-entry, way she is now." Big blond 'Ric leaned against a newly repaired railing, looking down into a hold that now looked reasonably like itself again. "Three days, otherwise."

Mal frowned. His budget was holding better than he'd hoped so far - Javert had been generous in the rewards paid out for 'services to the Alliance' - but he'd hoped to save some against lean times in the future. On the other hand, he'd rather spend it now on getting his ship fixed than in two days on bailing Jayne out of jail or getting Simon put back together after he got himself broke for being aggressively Core-born. "You got the men?"

'Ric nodded. "Should be done tomorrow night at the latest, if that's what you want. You'll be leaving atmo by dawn day after tomorrow."

Mal nodded. "Do it." Kissing all that money goodbye hurt, but they were still all right. They had most of the cash from that gorram bank job left, and with Simon and River no longer wanted fugitives, work should be easier to find.

The ache in his wallet left him tetchy, though, and it didn't get any better when he found half of Jayne's multitudinous and noisy family all over his ship yet again, even though the clean-up had officially ended yesterday. "What the gorram hell are they doing here?" he demanded of Zoe, forgetting that he'd been meaning to go easy around her until Wash was tucked up in their quarters again.

"Bringing back laundry and so on, an' helping me move my stuff," Zoe said, a little sharply. "Sir."

Mal frowned. "Move what stuff?"

"All due respect, sir, how the hell do you think Wash would get up and down that gorram ladder with only one leg?" Zoe looked as startled at the shout that had come out of her own mouth as Mal had felt hearing it. "I... sorry, sir. I'm a little tense."

"Understandable." Mal touched her shoulder, forgiveness and apology all in one. "How you workin' things?"

"Simon's moving into one of the smaller passenger cabins, letting me and Wash take the bigger one. It was his idea - I wouldn't have put him out, but he insisted." Zoe's tense, weary expression softened some. "Wash is gonna need a lot of help for a while. Simon keeps remindin' me that he's right there if I need him. I'm like to smack him if he does it again, truth be told, but..."

Mal nodded, feeling his throat tighten a smidge. "Don't rightly know what we'd do without the doc, these days."

"Hard to recall, ain't it?" Zoe smiled slightly. "He and Kaylee might like the bigger cabin, if Jayne and River don't get to it first."

"We'll see." Mal sighed. "I paid 'Ric extra to get the job done. We should be clear to leave tomorrow night or first thing morning after. How soon until the crowd clears out?"

"Shouldn't be but a few hours more." Zoe sighed. "It'll be good to get home."

"Yeah." Mal itched to be free of dirty buildings and noisy strangers. He wanted sky around him and his own ship humming under his boots. "Wash clear to leave tomorrow?"

"Should be. Simon coulda signed him out a day or two ago, but he said a few more days of physiotherapy would help, while they're goin'."

"Well, good. You get it set up for him to be here tomorrow."

* * *

Jayne had successfully avoided Bess all morning. He figured he'd have to see her again at least once more, but if he held off until it was time to say goodbye, maybe she wouldn't pick no more fights.

He was keeping clear of River, too. They'd made up for last night's abstinence this morning, but once they were up and doing his bad mood had settled in again. He didn't want to snap at her, so he'd shooed her off to help Kaylee fiddle around with the post-repair calibrations and tidy-up. River had made it known that she wasn't offended by kissing him until he couldn't walk straight before she went, but she'd respected his wanting to be alone, which he appreciated.

Unfortunately, avoiding River and Bess hadn't left him any attention left for dodging his pa. It was the first time he and Flynn had been alone together since Jayne was fifteen. Since he'd left.

"You busy?" Flynn asked quietly, standing firmly between Jayne and any exits.

"Some." Jayne resisted the urge to look around for help. River'd come running if he really needed rescuing, he was reasonable sure of that, but sooner or later he was going to have to face this. Might as well get all the angry-makin' stuff over in one go. "Just shiftin' these crates. Techs got 'em stacked up all anyhow."

Most of the crates were empty. Some were filled with the odds and ends that he figured all smugglers picked up. Mal was never one to turn down a job lot of slightly-worn blankets, say, or a few water-filters. A buyer would show up some time, and having some legit cargo was always useful. Either way, Jayne had been stacking cargo in this hold for more'n two years now, and he didn't like having some dumb tech come and move all his crates about and making a mess.

Flynn nodded. "Can't have things lyin' all anyhow," he said quietly. "Saves work in the long run, keeping things neat."

He'd always said that, as long as Jayne could remember. Jayne had been twenty-two when he realized why he always kept his bunk reasonably tidy, and his girls spotless. He'd tried to learn messy out of sheer cussedness, but it hadn't worked. "Yeah. Kick them two little ones over to that side, wouldja?"

Flynn did, moving a shade slower than Jayne remembered. The old man was still in prime shape, for his age, but that age was coming up on sixty. If he'd worked the mines he'd have had to stop working years ago, but a skilled welder in a factory could hold on longer, training the youngsters and doing the fiddly things that took more skill than strength. Even so, he'd have to retire soon.

Gave Jayne an uncomfortableness, thinking on his Pa being too old to work.

"You're still set on going," Flynn said quietly. "You wouldn't be workin' so hard at dodgin' your ma otherwise."

"Ain't the only reason. She's got herself set against River, an' I ain't of a mood to explain myself on that subject." Jayne shifted the big crate over to its spot against the wall. It was empty, but Mal had held onto it on account of River liked to sit up there. He hadn't admitted it, of course, and Jayne hadn't said anything either, when he found a spot that commanded a view of the whole hold, and rigged a couple of clamps so it'd always be steady for little dancing feet.

"She'd take to River quicker if you settled, did the right thing by the girl." Flynn frowned. "Two of you are keepin' company, any fool could see that. I raised you better'n that."

"Yup." Jayne gritted his teeth on a few pithy comments that'd make his position a lot clearer. "I ain't the settlin' kind. She knows that."

"You may think she does," Flynn said, disapproval open in his voice now. "But she's young and crazy about you. You really think she's expecting you to have your way and move on?"

Jayne straightened up so fast his back twinged. "I ain't gonna! Why's everyone so gorram convinced I'm gonna treat her bad?" he shouted. "Only one _don't_ think I'm a lecherous _hun dan_ for takin' up with her is the gorram Shepherd, and if _he_ thinks the right thing by River is takin' care of her and lettin' her get her feet back under her again, then that's what I'm gonna do!"

Flynn frowned, eyebrows lowering ominously. "If you're so damn set on the girl, why ain't you doing right by her and - "

"I _am_! We been involved two gorram weeks!" Jayne heard footsteps on the catwalk above him, but he ignored them. He'd had just about enough of this. "And I don't give a fucking _damn_ what you think about us sharing a bunk! You think it's immoral an' Mal thinks I'm taking advantage and you know what? Screw you! You and your damn backwoods sanctimonious _go se_, so sure you know what's right and what's good and not knowing a damn thing!"

He was backing Flynn across the hold. He didn't care. True fury had a grip on him now. "You been ducking saying it ever since I got back, so go on! Say it! Tell me what you wanted to say twenty ruttin' years ago when you found out I was gone!"

Flynn stopped backing, fists clenched as tight as Jayne's were. "Things got heated then, Jayne, things got said as weren't meant - "

"I meant every word I said!"

"You ran out on your family!" Flynn shouted, stepping forward so they were all but nose to nose. Jayne realized faintly through the haze of fury that he was a shade taller. "We needed you!"

"That weren't my fault! Weren't my job to fend for them, it was yours!" Twenty years had scabbed over that bitter resentment so he'd almost forgotten it. Now Flynn had torn the scab off and it ran as hot as ever. "I spent four gorram years working every odd job I could find, trying to help out, but it didn't never stop, and you and Ma leaned on me harder and harder and then you wanted me to start workin' in the factory and I'da died first!"

"It was a good job - "

"I couldn't live like that!" Jayne shook his head, fighting for the words. Please, just this one time, let it come out right. "I'da gone stir-crazy in a week. You know how bad it was even before... the fights, and the thievin', and there was worse you never knew about. It's the way I am, Pa, an' not all the tryin' in the world will change it."

Flynn shook his head mulishly. "You weren't ever a bad kid, Jayne, just a bit wild. If you'd tried - "

"If he'd tried, he'd have broken someone's head inside a month," Mal said coolly, from somewhere above and to the left. "The one time I took Jayne to a company-run moon, weren't two days 'fore he'd been charged with grand theft, incitement to revolution, murder, and licentious behaviour in public. Can't speak to the licentious behaviour, havin' missed that, but wild Jayne is and is like to remain. Man don't change his nature."

Jayne nodded, the anger trickling away and leaving cold resentment in its wake. He'd never asked his family to be something else than what they were, not ever. And they'd never asked him for anything else. "Every family got its bad apple, Pa," he said, finding his throat hoarse from shouting. "I'm yours. Always was, always will be. I done what I could - I didn't ever bring any trouble of mine home to you, an' I sent money when I had it - but ain't no will or wishin' in the world could make a good man of me."

"That ain't true," Bess said, her voice trembling. Jayne turned, tracking her voice, and found her standing on the stairs. All the crew were there, standing around, and his sisters, and the only comfort in the world for him at that moment was seeing River there, looking at him with soft, understanding eyes as Bess continued. "It ain't, you're not..."

"I am," Jayne said, and shame was rising up through the resentment now. "Ain't no low-down thing in the 'verse I ain't done... 'cept I never did hurt a woman a-purpose, unless she attacked me first, nor a kid, neither. That much stayed with me. But I've lied and cheated and stole, spent most of my money on drink and whores, killed and tortured for pay and thrown my own partner outta a skiff 'cause it was him or the money. I signed on with Serenity when I had Mal an' Zoe at gun-point, 'cause they offered me a better deal than the man hired me to track them, an' I shot him when they paid me to."

The silence was awful. Jayne's stomach tightened until he was half-afraid he was going to be sick.

"That's not the whole story, of course," said a cool, Core-bred voice, and he turned to look at Simon in surprise. So did everyone else.

"I'm sorry to interrupt a family argument," Simon said, truly sounding apologetic. "But Jayne isn't being entirely truthful. I don't doubt that everything he said happened..." He glanced up at Mal and Zoe, who nodded agreement, "...but he didn't tell you everything. In the last eight months, he and I have agreed on anything maybe twice, so I'm sure I qualify as unbiased."

"Guess you would," Flynn said, and his voice had a strange, choked sound.

"I have seen him charge into a hopeless battle to rescue Mal from a psychotic despot, even though we all know he's long wanted to command Serenity himself," Simon said quietly. "I have seen him take on two Feds, even though he was battered and handcuffed, to protect myself and River, even though he despised both of us, because he knew they would hurt her if they took her away. He is braver than he will admit, and, in his way, fiercely protective of his crew."

"And he shows respect."

Jayne still felt as if he'd been turned upside-down and shaken, having Simon speak up for him like that. They'd had a moment or two of being able to stand each other lately, but it still made him feel a little sick to his stomach, after Ariel. He wasn't sure he'd ever be completely easy with the doc talking him up like he was some kind of hero.

But that was nothing to hearing Inara speak up for him too. Everyone was looking at her now, looking like a perfect, flawless doll even in her simple blue robe. She looked down at Jayne with a softer expression than she'd ever turned on him before. "He shows respect," she said again. "Most men... even the best of men... are inclined to look down on women. Certain kinds of women, anyway." Standing beside her, Mal shifted uneasily.

"Jayne doesn't. I honestly don't think he realizes how rare it is - and I doubt many others in this cargo hold do, either - but when a prostitute remembers a client with real fondness, as someone who respects her and treats her with consideration, that says a lot about a man." Her eyes held Jayne's, and he squirmed guiltily inside, remembering a lot of not-at-all respectful thoughts he'd had about 'Nara, even if he hadn't said most of them aloud. "He's decent to those who many others think are below decency, and that counts for something."

"An' he's been so good to River," Kaylee said earnestly. "Long 'fore they was sweet on each other, he was talkin' to her and playin' with her and stuff. She got so much better when he started listening to her."

That was too much. Eloquence from Simon and Inara on his behalf had knotted his stomach up with guilt, but having sweet, sunny Kaylee take up for him again, talking on how good he'd been to River when what he'd been doing was making her into a killer like himself...

"Stop it. Just... stop it!" Kaylee froze, her mouth open, as he suddenly shouted again. "I know you're tryin' to help, but I ain't like that, an' you know it! Mal's always known I was gonna sell him out someday, and Zoe's known she'd be the one to shoot me when I did, and..." His voice cracked unmanfully, because it hurt worse than he could stand to have them talking on him like he was worth something when he knew he wasn't. "If you think all that's true, then you're stupider than them mudders back on Canton, 'cause at least they'd never met me in person an' you have! You know better!"

He couldn't stand the way they were all looking at him. He turned, shoving his way past Flynn and hurrying down the ramp. He had to get out, right now.

* * *

River couldn't go after Jayne when he stormed down the ramp. She wanted to, but if she let go of the railing she would hurt someone.

Part of her wanted to, the angry, uncontrolled part where the training was - they had hurt her stone, and her training screamed to hurt them all. Another part was crying, torn and bleeding as Jayne was bleeding inside, because they were so tied together now that she couldn't shut out his pain.

With no stone to ground her, she clung to the healing Serenity, listening for the song that echoed faintly through steel and ceramic.

"He's just... he's upset, is all," Kaylee was saying, worried because Jayne's mother was crying. "There's been so much goin' on..."

"River, are you all right?" Simon touched her, and she twitched away. Touching might make the angry part too loud to ignore. "River?"

"I told you," River whispered. "He walked proudly with virtue beside him, because he knew he didn't merit it. Knows he's bad, doesn't deserve soft words spoken on him."

Finally Simon was starting to understand her, and he nodded. "Is he going to be all right?"

River felt tears sting eyes that she knew were dry. "He hurts. Had to open up all the old wounds, let the poison out, but it makes him feel them all over again."

She let go of the rail slowly, ready to catch hold again if she had to. Jayne hurt, and it drew her to him, the sad part of her stronger than the angry part. "I'll go find him. We'll be gone a while." She went carefully down the stairs, passing Bess in silence and heading directly for the door.

David was there - he'd been helping, or complaining while pretending to help - and he caught her arm. "It ain't safe to - "

River yanked her arm out of his grip and dislocated his flapping jaw with a kick that had been powerful even before the Academy. He fell down, and she stepped daintily over him and continued walking.

"Yeah, it's not a good idea to grab River if she don't want you to," Zoe said behind her, with exquisite dryness. "Or any woman, for future reference."

River followed Jayne.

She was forced to discourage two men who wanted to press invitations upon her, which slowed her down. When she found Jayne, he was already settled at a corner table in a grimy bar, drinking fast and hard, hoping to numb the pain inside him. She watched for a little while, and then went over to him, sitting down silently beside him.

Jayne flinched away from her, which made her ache. "I can't talk on it," he whispered, almost desperate.

"Shh." She took the bottle and poured another measure for him. "Not talking now."

By pouring the drinks she managed to slow him a little, and he wasn't too drunk when the next act began. She put the bottle aside, and he spoke for the first time in an hour. "Gimme that. Ain't done."

"No more time for drinking," she whispered. "Listen. The music's starting."

He looked around, and she saw him realize where they were. A low bar, near to the spaceport. Crews of many ships. The kind of place that long habit had brought him to... and the kind of place it wasn't wise to be just now. Even as they watched, a man whose coverall showed the patches of an Alliance transport brushed past a man in the grimy canvas and leather of a Rim trader, jostling him.

"Spark," River whispered.

Jayne's blood raced. A fight would help. A good, dirty fight, a rush of adrenaline to block out the guilt and shame. It had worked for years, and even drunk, he knew it would help him now. But he tried to rein himself in, even though it hurt, looking down at her anxiously. He wasn't sure she could handle it yet.

She lifted the bottle he'd been drinking from, taking a good mouthful to remind her not to taste the blood, then grinned up at him. "I want to dance."

So they danced.

She'd seen in his dreams how she looked to him, when she fought. Not a killing-machine, not a monster... his deadly killer-woman, dancing with death, touching the fire that was always in him. Jayne loved this dance. He heard a song that was like and unlike Serenity's... a fast, passionate concerto, this, the music of adrenaline and pain and unthinking action, from the arpeggio of breaking glass to the driving beat of a pounding heart.

He'd wanted to dance it with her, then, even in her madness.

Now they danced together, through a brawl that might have been the tinder to the pyre that was the city, and left silence in their wake. She didn't kill, or at least she tried not to - it muddied the fight, lessened the purity of the dance. She and Jayne moved around and through each other, the third new way they'd joined, and none could stand before them.

And then they stood, the only ones left standing, and looked at each other.

And River laughed. "No power in the 'verse can stop me."

He grinned back, reaching out to catch her hand and drawing her to him. "Last thing I want is t' stop you."

They left the bar, and barely reached the minimal privacy of an alley before the fire in their blood overwhelmed them both. They coupled urgently, earning scrapes from the rough wall and bruises from clutching fingers, neither caring. The boarding-house was too far away and they found a room that wasn't clean but was private enough to finish what had only been begun in the alley.

As soon as passion was sated, she nestled into his arms and they slipped free of weary flesh into their own private world.

* * *

Jayne had hoped he'd be too tired to dream. He should have known better.

Although this one was new.

"I tried to make it concrete," River said from behind him, as he looked around. "It's easier for you if you can see things. Did I get it right?"

It took him a minute to work out what she meant. At first the place had just looked weird - a lot of roads twisting around each other like noodles, going through empty space. There were a bunch higher up than where he was standing - on one of the highest, he saw Kaylee and Simon walking hand-in-hand in the sunlight, on a path with lots of little flowers and stuff. A bit further down, Inara was strolling along a shady path that was all green and alive. Zoe and Wash were sitting on the edge of the same one, talking, but Mal was lower still. His road wasn't so pretty, but he kept looking up at Inara like he was trying to figure a way to get to hers.

"Life paths." River tucked her hand into his, and he felt her cheek brush his arm. "No darkness in Simon and Kaylee. They walk in sunshine. There are shadows for Inara, but peace, too. Wash found his way up there from one of the bad paths, and Zoe followed him. _Ba ba_ hasn't found the way yet, but he's close."

Jayne looked at the road he was on. Weren't no plants or flowers for him, just grimy concrete. A few spent shells were scattered across the ground, gleaming dully, and further on he saw a huddled body. He swallowed hard. He knew this was what he deserved. One of the bad paths. He'd picked it his own self, hadn't he? "I don't want you comin' down on this one with me," he said quietly. "I ain't a good man, _bao bei_." He'd never used the endearment aloud before, not even in their dreams.

"I know." She tugged on his arm, so he turned to look at her proper, and he realized she looked the way she had on Universe's moon, afterwards... blood soaking her green shirt, sticking her loose hair to her face, covering her boots so she left bloody footprints. "What use would a good man be to me?"

Jayne hadn't thought on it like that before, but he shook his head. "What use would _I_ be to you? I mean, I take care of you good, but..."

River sighed gustily. "Shh. I'll show you so it makes sense." She snuggled up to his arm again. "You need nice simple metaphors, I've noticed that. But it's all right. Visual metaphor is easier for me than rhetoric, anyway."

"What-or-rick?"

River shook her head and pointed. "This is how it was."

He saw her and Simon, much younger, on another path he hadn't noticed before. This one was kind of nice - lots of square stones and carved stone lanterns and things - but there weren't no growing things. River was dancing, and Simon was moving on ahead, calling to her over his shoulder, and then... some kind of big _thing_, that Jayne couldn't see proper and knew he didn't want to, snatched River off the path and dragged her down.

He expected her to wind up on the road they were on now, but they kept going down. Leaning over, he saw a whole mess more paths and roads below his, which was reasonable bright for all there weren't no sunlight. The _thing_ dragged River onto a path made of blue glass and machine-parts, and the Blue Hands he and River had killed grabbed her.

Jayne reacted without thinking, reaching for his gun... and finding nothing. He looked at River in surprise - she'd always dreamed his guns up for him before.

"Shh," she said sadly, holding tight to his hand as she watched. "It's all past now. Can't help. Just watch."

Simon ran back and forth on his own path, looking down at River. He called to her, holding out his hand, but she was a hundred metres below him. He dropped a rope, after a while, and seemed to pull River out of the grabbing hands, but she was still on the bad blue path and she couldn't seem to get up the rope, nor Simon down.

Kaylee showed up, on a bend of the flower-path that came close to Simon's one, and she called him and tried to get him to come up. Simon looked up at her like he wanted to, but he was still holding his useless rope and wouldn't budge.

"Now you see," River said seriously. "He tried and tried, but he couldn't go where I was. Couldn't understand the darkness because he has none."

Down below, River had abandoned the rope and found a staircase. That got her off the blue path, but the path she'd found was all jumbled rocks and weird flashing lights that did nothing to make the road less dark. A crazy road?

"Very crazy. And Simon can't even find that one, see?" Simon was looking lost, up on his prim stone road. Kaylee looked sad, kneeling down and reaching towards him. Simon was close enough to take her hand if he wanted to, but he kept looking for River instead.

River picked her way along the crazy road for a while, cutting up her hands and feet on the stones, whimpering sometimes and other times going all blank-eyed. Everyone tried to reach her - Inara and Zoe and Wash from the grassy road, Mal from his sandy, scrubby one, even Kaylee from up so high she couldn't hardly even see River, and Book from a twisty one made of all stairs going up and up and up, but never getting anyplace.

But they were too far away. The only road that _did_ go close to the crazy road was Jayne's, and after a minute he saw himself stop like he heard something, then turn around and go over to the edge. River shouted something he was too far away to hear, and the other Jayne nodded, kneeling on the edge of his road and fiddling with something. He dropped down a rope ladder, and River tried to climb it, but her hands were slick with blood and she couldn't hold on.

Jayne could see his own mouth moving and his eyes rolling up to heaven, and just knew he was swearing, but the other Jayne still climbed down the ladder, hoisted River over his shoulder, and dragged her back up to the bleak road he'd been on all along. River looked kind of lost, but the other Jayne handed her a gun and took her free hand, leading her along.

"You see?" His own River looked up at him. "Fell too far, couldn't climb back up, and nobody from the upper reaches could find me. Needed someone near the middle, who isn't afraid of the dark."

Jayne nodded. Maybe he should be ashamed of needing her to make such a big complicated dream, but it _was_ easier to understand this way. Someone as gentle and sunshiny as Kaylee... or someone as prissy but noble as Simon... just plain couldn't find River in the dark place where she'd been. She'd needed someone who could understand what the Academy had done to the little girl who'd been dancing along in Simon's wake.

She nodded. "I can't undo what they did," she said seriously. "Can't be the dancer again, innocent and joyful. I've been changed." She looked down at herself, all covered with blood, and back up at him. "This is what I am. You saw it and you weren't afraid."

"Only thing scared me was that I mighta lost you," Jayne said quietly, because it was true.

"You couldn't make my nightmares go away." River touched his cheek lightly. "But you taught me how to stop them from being nightmares. You put weapons in my hands and told me I could choose when to use them, you put my feet on the ground and showed me that fighting could be a dance too. Fallen, but not damned."

Jayne swallowed on a most unmanful tightness in his throat. "Wish I was a better man, even so," he said, wrapping her up in his arms and holding her close. He liked how she fitted in his arms, small enough to wrap right up and hide against him. "For you."

"I wish I were a better girl," River said. "We'll work on it. But you're not a bad man. Not good, not bad... just a man, whole and flawed. Amoral and sentimental, kind and selfish. Middling."

Jayne managed a little laugh. "You sayin' I'm average, girl?"

"Sometimes." She rubbed her cheek against his grimy t-shirt. "Done bad things. Done some good ones, too. Work in progress."

Jayne knew he wasn't a good man. It had pained him to hear Kaylee and Simon, who were so damn innocent still, talking on him like he was. But having River, who ought to know, tell him that he wasn't so bad, that he was kind of middling, maybe set to get better in time... he could believe that. Could live with it.

"Good. It hurt, having you all angry and sad inside." River kissed his chest, and tipped her head back to smile up at him. "And look where our path goes."

Jayne looked. Theirs made a big loop, sloping up some, all around the paths where the others were - except Book, who'd found himself a level place and was preaching to a collection of folk Jayne recognized from Haven. "I guess that means we're on guard, huh?"

"Keep the sunshine safe." River nodded, giving Simon and Kaylee a fond look. "We'll be Rangers."

He blinked. "We'll be what?"

"A story from Earth That Was. A country full of little people who were happy and kind and peaceful, but only safe because the Rangers guarded them and killed anyone who wanted to hurt them." River nodded. "We'll be Rangers, and there'll be little Washlings and Simonlets who won't be afraid of the dark because they'll know we're in it, looking after them."

"Simonlets, huh?" Jayne grinned. "You know he's fixin' to propose already?"

"Simon is a hopeless romantic." River grinned back at him. "There's no certainty yet, but he's improving his odds by the minute."

"Good. Kaylee deserves someone who'll court her proper, make her feel like a girl 'steada just a mechanic." It was easier to say such softlike things when they were dream-talking. "Did you want to?"

River rolled her eyes at him. "Jayne, we dream each other's dreams and clean each other's guns. Further commitment would be completely superfluous."

He snickered. "Well, yeah, but I woulda if you really wanted to."

"The thought is appreciated." River sighed. "I cannot reciprocate," she said, looking sad all of a sudden. "There will be no Jayneling or Riverlet, even if you really want one."

Jayne blinked. "Well, good, 'cause I don't. I left home on account of I couldn't stand being held responsible for anyone but my own self. I'll bend that some for you, on account of I know you'll look out for me as much as I will for you, but I draw the line at spawnin'. Never wanted 'em, never will."

River looked relieved. "Really?"

"Never could see the appeal," Jayne admitted. "They're stinky, they're noisy, and they suck the life and the money right outta you. I can put up with 'em all right when they're old enough to talk to, but I'll leave havin' 'em to the crazy folk who actually like the things."

River nodded, giving him a tight hug around the middle. "I think I'll like babies," she said, a little doubtfully. "When I meet some. But if the Academy comes back in ten years or twenty, they'll find no new Rivers to toy with, not from me. And there are too many people in me already. I don't think adding another would be wise."

Jayne nodded, ducking down to kiss the top of her crowded little head. "Good, then it's all settled. No spawn for us. We'll just guard the Washlings and Simonlets." He paused. "How many is there gonna be?"

River shrugged. "All just probabilities, at this point. But most likely at least one of each."

Jayne thought about little baby wails in the middle of the night, the clatter of tiny feet on decking, endless repetitions of 'why' and 'no'... and he grinned. "Mal's gonna hate it."

"Mal is the patriarch of a clan, and must accept the necessity of little spawnlings." River grinned. "He'll get used to it."

* * *

__

dong ma - you understand?

Wu dong - I understand

Ba ba - daddy

Ju guei - giant tortoise

xiao teng - little dragon

Da Ge oldest brother

Bu Jing Chuan - whale-hunting vessel, whale-chaser

Bu Lai - good, fine

You Xiu Li - Excellent Repairs

Hui zhen - Poisonous filth (I think)

Yao guai - monsters, demons

luan qi ba zao - a huge mess.

d sha gua - fool, idiot, jerk, or 'big silly melon'. (I swear, that's what the translation said!)

mei mei - little sister

ge ge - older brother

Feng Guang - Scenic View, the POW camp where Wash was held during the war.

Bao tu - thug

Pigu - ass

Jing Ai - respectful love

Go se - dog excrement

Bao bei - beloved, sweetheart

* * *


	8. Chapter 8: Equilibrium

**Chapter 8: Equilibrium**

* * *

_See Chapter 1 for disclaimers, etc._

Author's Note: Yeah... remember how I warned you guys updates were going to be slow? Still holds true. I apologize again, though!

* * *

Kaylee wasn't quite as worried about Jayne and River as the others seemed to be. Jayne could take care of himself, and River could handle a fight just fine, so she figured they'd just gone off somewhere so's Jayne could get drunk, hit people, and then maybe the two of them could tumble some and feel better.

The crew were putting the last section of hull in place, and Kaylee was in the cockpit checking the wiring, when Simon wandered in, still fretting. "It's morning. They didn't come back to the boarding-house _or_ the ship. What if they've been kidnapped?"

"They ain't been kidnapped," Kaylee said soothingly, still wedged in under the console.

"How do you know?"

"'cause I've been checking the news-waves and ain't a word been said about explosions or massacres or skiff-chases or nothin'." She nudged his leg gently with her foot. "Just a big brawl in a bar last night in which every single person in the building got either knocked out or hurt real bad. So I'm thinkin' they went out for a quiet drink an' a little scuffle and some alone-time."

"A quiet drink and a little scuffle?" Simon said weakly.

"Sure. Jayne always does it when he's in a mood, and he sure was in a bad one this time. I hope he didn't kill nobody." Kaylee sighed. "I don't get why he doesn't like us sayin' nothin' nice, though. He's not near as bad as he liked to pretend he is. Why, even 'fore you and River showed up and everything got different, he was always lookin' out for me. He'd tease me a lot, 'specially if there was a nice-lookin' fellow around..." She grinned and poked Simon with her toe. "But it weren't nothin' any of my own brothers wouldn'ta said, when they're bein' jerks. And he run a couple guys off when they got too pushy, and he never even told the Cap'n."

Simon crouched down beside her, resting a hand on her leg. "Having had my mind wrenched open forcibly in the last eight months, I think Jayne grew up in a society as narrow as I did," he said quietly. "Good, God-fearing folk... did you see their faces when Mal let slip that Inara had been a Companion? I'm not saying that they're not good people, just... limited. And I know from experience that it's hard to leave a place like that without carrying some part of it with you, whether you want to or not."

Kaylee nodded. "Some folk can't see past their own noses, an' that's a fact." She'd known people like that back home, kind in their way but far too set on their own definitions of 'right' and 'wrong'. "Jayne's a lot like my Uncle Ben, I ever tell you that? Big an' ornery, heavy drinker, but he told the best stories. Used to growl like a bear when he had a hangover, too, but he was fun."

"You never told me that. Actually, you've never talked about your family, except for your Daddy." Simon was smiling, she could hear it in his voice. "If you're sure Jayne and River are all right - "

"I told you, Jayne just likes to go out and get in a good fight when he's in a mood. They'll be back as soon as they've had breakfast and a good - "

"Kaylee!"

"You're such a prude."

"She's my _sister_." Simon prodded her hip with a fingertip. "Stop it. Anyway, if you're sure they're all right, maybe you could tell me a little about your family."

"Really?" She hunched around so she could look out, but she still couldn't see his face. "Ain't nothin' real interesting about 'em."

Simon sat down crosslegged, his knee bumping hers companionably. "Well, you know all about mine. I'd like to know something about yours."

"Well... sure." Kaylee found herself grinning real big. "I've told you some about my Daddy, he's a mechanic like me. My Uncle Ben was the oldest, he got the family farm..."

* * *

"It's good to be home," Wash said, leaning back wearily. "Oh, hello, bed. I missed you."

Before the fight started, Flynn and David Cobb had helped Zoe move the old bunk out of the guest quarters and attach the bigger bed that she and Wash had saved for when they first got married. There wasn't much room left in the cabin when the work was done, but it was their bed. She and Wash both needed it.

Now Wash lay back on it, giving her a weary smile. "Come here, wife."

She lay down beside him, on his good side, resting her head on his shoulder. "I missed you," she whispered.

"Oh, I missed you too." He kissed her temple, his arm going around her. "I just don't sleep well without you."

"I don't hardly sleep at all, when you're not around," Zoe admitted. She propped herself up, looking down at him. "How are you doing, husband? No jokes, this time."

Wash sighed, the lines on his face that his smiles usually hid a little deeper now. "I'll survive," he said quietly. "The leg I can live without. The memories... well, they'll be waking me up in a cold sweat for a while, but I'll have my warrior woman to chase them away." He touched her cheek, smiling up at her. "I feel... it's completely irrational, but I feel as if the worst is over. We did it. We survived."

"And we're going to be parents just as soon as we can," Zoe added, watching to see how he reacted to that.

Wash nodded. "I'm a lot less worried about that now. I mean, even if something did happen to us... well, Simon's got the potential to be a great mother."

Zoe snickered. "He does, don't he? Got the routine right down."

"Yeah. And if it wasn't him, it'd be Kaylee or Inara. River'd help, and Jayne would protect the kid from... well, everything." Wash shrugged, tucking his arm in under her and pulling her close. "We have a family, here. That's what worried me, before... what if I wasn't there? But if I'm not, then I know someone else will be. So we can risk it now. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, it makes sense." Zoe leaned in to kiss him, then grinned suddenly. "I notice you didn't mention Mal in there."

"Mal doesn't like children. They scare him. If we die, I want Simon and Kaylee to look after it." Wash was giving her an impish look she hadn't seen since before Miranda. "I admire and respect Mal, Zoe, he's like a brother-in-law to me, but can you honestly see him changing a diaper? Or engaging in play-and-learn activities?"

Zoe laughed. "I... can't, no. Okay, you have a point about Simon and Kaylee. They're like to handle a baby way better than Mal."

"Exactly." Wash rubbed his hand gently up and down her back. "So, you gonna tell him about the kid?"

"I was planning to wait until it was an established fact." Zoe shook her head. "You know him. He'll just fret himself over the ifs and maybes if I tell him before it's settled. If I present him with something solid then he can have his fuss and get over it."

"Well, you're the expert." Wash nodded. "So... what've I missed?"

"Well, Jayne had a mighty big blow-up with his folks last night..."

* * *

"I just don't like eating cat. It feels like cannibalism." River averted her eyes from the stall they were passing. "I will not eat something that reads minds."

"Cats read minds?" Jayne sounded interested.

"Everyone knows that." River gnawed on the skewer that Jayne had bought for her breakfast. He'd said it was goat. River had never eaten goat before, but she had decided that she liked it. "Was the road-metaphor too obvious?"

"Nah - you were right, I understand things better if I see 'em all laid out solid." Jayne settled his arm around her shoulders and squeezed gently. "It helped, seein' how I pulled you up insteada down."

River nodded. He was easier, inside himself, than he had been in a long time. Lingering guilts had been purged instead of merely stifled. "Who'd protect the good folk from the bad, weren't for us in the middle?" she said, in a passable imitation of his own accent. "There's worse places we could be."

He laughed. "Yeah, guess there is at that." Then they reached the scrapyard, and the gate leading to Serenity's berth, and found Mattie leaning against it. Jayne's smile faded. "Hey," he said quietly, rippling uncertainly under her fingers.

Mattie smiled crookedly, one side higher than the other. "Well, you sure did raise a fuss, big brother."

"Guess I did." Jayne shifted uncomfortably. "Was true, what I said."

Mattie nodded. "For what little the invalid's opinion is worth," he said, bitterness lacing his tone like tea leaching into water, "you weren't wrong. They're set in their ways, our family. You're the wayward son who belongs back home, and I'm the burden God sent them to bear, and never these things will change." He straightened up, and River could see weariness dragging him down like weights hung from his shoulders. "I'd have gone too, if I could."

"Ain't that they don't care," Jayne said, telling himself as much as Mattie. "They do, they always have."

"That's what makes it so hard," Mattie agreed. "They love us and they want what they think is best, and if you tell them that ain't what you want then you feel ten kinds of low an' ungrateful." He shrugged, eyes flicking to River. "I think you did all right."

Jayne looked down at River, his anxious spikes softening. "Yeah, figure I did at that."

Mattie nodded. "Kaylee says you're a genius," he said to River. "Got any notion as to how I could escape this family that loves us so much and understands us not one bit?"

River cocked her head. "Lacking brawn, you must use brain," she said cheerfully. "You would make an excellent criminal mastermind."

Jayne twitched beside her and Mattie looked startled. "An excellent _what_?"

"Criminal mastermind. Planner of crime." River grinned. "Simon is good at it too."

"Crime?" Mattie's eyebrows were right up when he looked back at Jayne. "What happened to 'honest smuggler'?"

"Well, black-market medicines an' the like don't steal themselves," Jayne said, turning pink and silver inside with mingled embarrassment and pride. "But you gotta plan things right. Ain't no hand to it myself, and Mal's plans mostwise go straight to hell, but Simon an' Zoe are pretty good, and River's got potential."

"Criminal mastermind, huh?" Mattie still looked surprised, but intrigued as well.

"First must find trustworthy seconds," River said firmly. "Who will not turn on you and steal the take. Lou has potential in this area, as does Teague."

"River, Lou is thirteen and Teague is eleven. A mite young, ain't they? Not to mention what Sora would say if she found out I was leadin' her boy into a life of crime." Mattie looked nervous just thinking about it.

"I'm seventeen, and I can do it. A few years of practice at intrigue will help." Lou, the lost brother Tigh's only child, was as shrewd as her Uncle Jayne. No strategist, but an excellent tactician. Teague was as thick as a brick, but good-hearted, loyal, and already significantly bigger than River. He would make an excellent protector for the fragile Mattie, when he was older. "Family bonds strengthen loyalty. You will need your back watched."

Mattie shook his head, smiling his lopsided smile again. "Damned if I ain't actually considering it," he said quietly. "Something new to think on, anyway. Days get long, for me."

Jayne was a little horrified and a lot amused. "River, ain't _I_ a bad enough influence without you tryin' to lead my baby brother into a life of wrongful crime as well?"

River shrugged. "He asked me."

"I did, at that." Mattie nodded. "They'll be showing up in a while, to say goodbyes and such. I should get back so's I can be hauled along properly feeble-like."

Jayne nodded, and offered his hand to his youngest brother. "Things are like to be a mite awkward then," he said seriously, as they shook hands. "F'r what it's worth, I'm glad we got a chance to get to know each other some. You write me now'n then, okay? Let me know how the criminal mastermind thing goes."

"I will." Mattie was more hopeful than he had been in a long time, River knew. If Jayne could escape and find his own niche in the wider 'verse, maybe Mattie could too.

If it got unbearable, Jayne would come and get him. Mattie was the only one of his family who understood him, and it mattered. But Jayne knew Mattie would rather escape himself than be a helpless invalid in need of rescue. So Jayne just nodded, clapping Mattie's shoulder gently and going through the gate.

River lingered for a minute. "One more thing..."

"Yeah?"

"Being a successful criminal mastermind is very appealing to girls," River told him, wanting to be encouraging. "Especially if he is a chivalrous one. Romantic, you see."

Mattie went brilliant red. "I... uh... thanks," he mumbled, and turned away. Hope had flared suddenly inside him, and he was embarrassed that she had known he needed it.

River let him go. She and Jayne had done their best... Mattie would have to find his own way from here. But sex and freedom would hopefully be adequate motivation.

* * *

The goodbyes were as awkward as Jayne had expected. He didn't even attempt to remember the names of all his nieces and nephews, although he gave Lou and Teague a quick look-over and liked what he saw. The two of them, with Mattie's brains behind them, could be a force to be reckoned with in a few years.

He hugged his ma, trying not to let her tears bother him. "I'll write," he promised.

"And you take care of yourself," she said, sniffing slightly. "You're always welcome, if'n you want to come home."

"I know." Maybe if he lived to get real old, the narrow streets and small sky wouldn't itch him no more. "I'll be fine. River watches out for me." Bess made a face, and Jayne grinned. "David had it comin', Ma, you know he did. Just you be glad I got a tough little _zhan shi_ watching my back."

"David usually does have it comin'." Cailey butted in to get her share of the hugging, which he provided willingly. The others were hanging back some, still unsettled by knowing what Jayne had done with his mysterious life. "I'm glad you found someone, _da ge_. And if she's as wild an' trouble-makin' as you are, I guess that's to the good." She smiled at him, not understanding but glad that he was happy. "Write to me sometimes."

"I will." Reluctantly, Jayne moved on to Flynn, who was stone-faced and looking none too pleased with his oldest son. "I'm sorry I blew up at you," Jayne said, sticking to the thing he could honestly apologize for. "Just... it's been a rough few weeks. Had to face up to a lot of bad, mine and other folks'."

Flynn nodded, unbending enough to rest a hand on his son's shoulder for a moment. "Man's temper can get short, times like that. No excuse, but we understand." He nodded. "Don't rightly understand why anyone would choose the life you have, but you're our son. Always will be."

Jayne nodded. "You ever need me, write. Mal'll get me here if it's important," he said quietly.

"We will." Flynn nodded. "You take care."

There were a few more noises in that vein, and then they were up the ramp and it was closing behind them. A _Bu Jing Chuan_ would take them to upper atmosphere, the scrapyard being too small for Serenity to take off from without causing damage, and then... home. The Black. Freedom.

"Glad that's over," Jayne said, feeling tension leak out of him when the ship jolted as the whale-chaser clamped on.

"Glad we're clear and ready to fly again." Mal nodded, seeming to relax more than a little himself. "Albatross, you come with me. Wash says you can fly my girl, and I believe him, but I'd still like to be there first time you try it."

"Fourth time," River said sweetly.

Mal did a damn funny double-take. "Fourth?"

Wash, lying propped up on the couch Simon had rigged for him with crates and cushions, looked guilty. "I let her take the helm a few times. Only when we were right out in the Black and it wouldn't do any harm, on her really good days."

"Don't fuss, _Ba ba_," River said, standing on tiptoe to kiss Mal's cheek. "Our home is well again. Be glad."

"You are the most aggravating minx a daddy ever had to put up with," Mal said, but he smiled at her. "Come on. Show me how good you can do it."

They headed up the stairs towards the cockpit. Zoe sat beside Wash, pulling a worn little book out of her pocket and offering it to him. Simon went for the infirmary, and Kaylee for the engine-room. Jayne went over to his weights, figuring to settle what was left of his itchy mood with a few sets, but when he sat down he found that Inara had drifted over to him. "Jayne, may I speak to you?"

"Sure, I guess." Jayne glanced over at Zoe and Wash. Wash was reading from the book in a low murmur. Jayne couldn't hear the words, but from the way Zoe was smiling it was something entertaining. They weren't listening, any road. "What about?"

"What I said, earlier. About you showing respect." She smiled at him. "You don't take compliments well."

Jayne shrugged. "Ain't no big deal."

"It is to me. Mal... as fond as I am of him, he's a little parochial. When he calls me a whore, he means it the way your family would. And did, when he told them after you left."

Jayne winced. "Mal never could keep his mouth shut."

"I don't imagine he'll be starting at this late date." Inara shook her head, making a cute rueful face. "Jayne... of everyone on this ship, only two have ever called me a whore. Mal, and you. Mal... it was a term of contempt, from him, and it bothered me. From you, it never did."

Jayne shrugged. "Figured it was 'cause you knew better'n to expect any manner of pretty talk from the likes of me."

"No." Inara shook her head. "It's because you think it's just a job. Despite being raised with nothing but contempt for women who do what I do - or did, before I retired - you've never treated me as if being a Companion... or a whore... made me less worthy of respect. It... matters."

Jayne looked away, but he nodded. "Yeah, it does." He of all people knew that. He'd had precious little respect in his life, 'cept what he'd beaten or frightened out of folk, and when he got it, it meant something. He'd walk through fire for Kaylee on that account, or Book... and he wouldn't be nearly as moon-brained over his River if she didn't think so well of him. "We all gotta make our way in the world. Don't see as I can look down on anyone else's trade, doing what I do. Bible has a whole lot more to say on killin' than it does on whorin', seems to me."

"You're right, it does." She reached out, putting a cool hand on his wrist for a moment. "I just wanted to thank you. For being better than you were taught to be, at least in this one thing."

He nodded, feeling embarrassed but not sick inside the way he had last night. River had said that he had good spots as well as bad. Sentimental, she'd called it. "Mal's an idiot."

Inara smiled. "He is. A charming idiot, but still an idiot. Ask River to sing you the song she made up about him."

Jayne grinned and started setting up his weights, humming 'The Captain Has His Head Up His _Pigu_' under his breath. He wasn't much at holding a tune, but Inara must have recognized it, because she was laughing as she strolled away.

* * *

Kaylee had cooked, and there'd been enough money for them to stock up on real food, so dinner was good that night. And it was the better for being eaten at their own table, with none but crew there.

Wash ate with them, propped up carefully at the end of the table. He was pale and he'd lost weight, but he ate hearty and seemed in good spirits. Mal watched him careful, and he thought Wash was doing pretty well. It'd take time, but there was worse things than losing a limb.

Mal waited until almost everyone had finished eating before he leaned back in his chair. "Some things came up after you left last night, Jayne," he said quietly, making eye-contact when Jayne looked up from his plate. "Words were said, and there's something I'd like for you to make clear for me. Won't push you to talk about it, because we've been through enough that not trustin' you now'd be plain stupid, but..." He looked along the table at Zoe, then back at Jayne. "Your brother was mentioned," he said quietly. "Tigh. You've always said you never fought in no war. I'm curious as to why you never mentioned your brother did."

Jayne shrugged, looking down at his plate again. "'Cause you're a Browncoat, Mal," he said flatly. "Didn't figure it'd endear me to you any, tellin' you my brother fought on the other side."

The table got quiet, and Mal made sure to keep his voice calm and casual. "I ain't so obsessed with the war that I'd hold a man responsible for a brother he hadn't even seen since that brother was twelve years old."

"Yeah?" There was a trace of the defiance Jayne had flung at his father the night before, when he looked at Mal again. "Tigh was a good soldier-boy, Mal. Shot a lot of your people, 'fore he met his end."

"And I shot a lot of his."

"An' I shot a lot of both," Jayne said baldly. "So we're all shootin' folk together, ain't that friendly?"

Before Mal could answer, River made an annoyed noise and - from the way Jayne jumped - kicked him under the table. "Stop it," she said sharply. "All family here, no need for defensive trouble-making. Stop raising your crest and be truthful."

Jayne looked away, a touch of guilt colouring his expression. "I was workin' for Blue Sun at the time," he said quietly. "Alliance would only guard the shipments for their own men. Anything going to civilians they'd swipe or sell. Browncoats was just as bad... they'd snatch up anything they saw going, 'cause they figured anything with a Blue Sun label had to be official Alliance goods. There was folk starving, so they started hiring mercs to guard the shipments."

Mal winced. "I remember," he said quietly. He'd never been in a position to hit one of those shipments, and when he heard about the starvation they'd caused, he'd been glad of it. He didn't like seeing his troops hungry, but he would have liked less to have to decide between his own men and women or the families on Jian Ying or Cobalt or one of a dozen others. Food being shipped from spaceports to settlements hadn't arrived half the time. Whole families had starved to death, on Cobalt. Jian Ying still hadn't recovered.

"Our orders was simple. Anyone tries to 'requisition' a shipment, shoot 'em. Anyone tries to steal it, shoot 'em. Anyone tries to destroy it, shoot 'em." Jayne shrugged. "Got deserters from both sides... and some as wasn't, when we got close to the fighting. Got so they all looked alike to me."

A part of Mal was raging at that, at Jayne's casual admission that he'd shot Mal's own as easily as he'd shot at Alliance troopers... but a much bigger and older and wiser part, the part that had made it through the nine years since Serenity Valley, understood all too well. While he'd been fighting for freedom, Jayne had been fighting his own small war on anyone who'd steal from those like himself and his kin. For pay, sure, but Jayne didn't take a job entailing that much personal danger lightly. He'd probably never admit it even to himself, but there was a part of Jayne Cobb that wanted to be something better than what it knew it was, and who still felt guiltily responsible for the family he'd left behind.

Mal cleared his throat. "Is that why you've been dodgin' talk of the war all this time? Figured I'd toss you off my boat if I found out you and your brother fought on sides weren't mine?"

"Pretty much." Jayne shrugged. "You're still carryin' the war with you, Mal. Figured I'd keep my mouth shut on anything might make you carry it to my door. I mean, sure I can take you, but then Zoe'd shoot me."

That made everyone laugh, and from the way Jayne smirked, he'd meant it to.

They'd come so far in so little time. Months of slow build, of coming together as part of a crew, and then in weeks they were family, tied together by blood shed, if not shared, and other ties stronger still. It struck Mal, all suddenlike, looking around at the table, that he wasn't captain of a crew any more, he was the head of a family.

A month ago, Jayne never would have come out with those things purely 'cause Mal had asked. And if he did, Mal wouldn't have been able to shake it off. There'd have been a fight, and like as not Jayne would have been off the ship at the next port. And that would've been a loss, as loathe as Mal was to admit it. Jayne still wasn't his favourite person, but he was crew. Family.

And if he threw the big merc off the boat, Mal's _ni zi_ would be most unhappy with her daddy, and River tend to express her unhappiness real openly.

* * *

They'd been in the Black for a week when Inara came to the engine-room, smiling mysteriously. "Kaylee? Can you come to my shuttle for a minute?"

"Sure thing!" Kaylee wiped off her hands hastily and scrambled to her feet. "What's up, 'Nara?"

"A surprise, _mei mei_." Inara looked real happy, as happy as when Mal had finally pulled his head out of his butt and spoken his heart to her. "You'll see."

Kaylee followed, trying not to bounce excitedly. "What kinda surprise?"

"You'll see!" Inara led her into the shuttle, and made her sit down on the small, squashy couch that had replaced the long one. "This arrived for you this morning."

"Arrived for me? But..." Kaylee looked at the package that Inara had just set in her lap. It was smallish, a cube about the length of her hand on each side, and wrapped in snowy white paper. In handwriting as pretty as fancy print, it was addressed _With a humble request for the intercession of the gracious Miss Serra, that this token may be presented to Miss Kaylee Frye_.

"What is it?" Kaylee hardly dared touch it, it looked so fancy.

"It's a gift, silly." Inara was beaming. "Open it, but be careful not to tear the paper."

Kaylee wiped her hands again and turned the package over to find it was sealed up with wax instead of tape, with the imprint of a star pressed into it. Despite her best efforts the seal cracked across before she could get it open, but she got the paper off all in one piece, to find a pretty silver-coloured box inside. She took the top off with hands that were a mite unsteady, and lifted out a glass ball that by some magic had a delicate pink rose trapped inside it. She'd never seen anything so pretty, not ever, and she looked at it with eyes as round as the globe. "Oh, 'Nara..."

"Traditionally it should be fresh flowers, but I'm impressed that he was able to improvise something so close." Inara's smile was brighter than ever. "There'll be a note, too."

Kaylee hastily scrabbled for the note, unfolding more of that snowy paper to see more of the pretty writing. _Please accept this small token of my admiration, with my humblest and most respectful wishes for your continued health and happiness._ Simon's name was signed to it with an elegant flourish.

Kaylee looked at it for a moment, then up at Inara. "It's the prettiest thing I ever saw, and I don't understand it one bit," she said honestly. "If he was going to get me such a nice present, why wouldn't he just give it to me insteada having you do it?"

Inara sat down beside her, wrapping an arm around Kaylee's shoulders. "That wouldn't be proper. If he was in the room when you received his gift, you might feel pressure to accept it," she explained. "Under the rules of the _Jing Ai_, the first gift should be sent by courier to you or to a mother or older sister - in this case me. That way you won't be embarrassed if you find it necessary to refuse, and you'll have a female relative to advise you."

"Why would I refuse?" Kaylee frowned. "It's the nicest thing I ever had."

"Well, if you returned the gift opened, then it would indicate a positive refusal. If you rewrapped the gift and returned it unsealed, then you would be saying 'not just yet, but please ask again'. If you returned it rewrapped _and_ sealed, you would be saying 'no, but perhaps you can convince me to change my mind'. And if you keep it..." Inara smiled, resting her cheek against Kaylee's and hugging her gently. "If you keep it and display it somewhere in your room, then it means that you're pleased by Simon's desire to court you, and that he may continue."

Kaylee's mouth fell open. "Court me? You mean like... walkin' out, and all?"

Inara nodded, hugging her again. "Simon is a very traditional and rather repressed young man who loves you very much," she said fondly. "The _Jing Ai_ is one of the oldest and most romantic courtship rituals. It takes some time, and you can stop things or slow them down at any point, but this is Simon's way of saying that he wants to win your heart completely, and eventually propose marriage."

Kaylee pressed the globe to her heart, feeling so warm and tingly that she was dizzy. "That is the most romantic, most wonderful thing anyone has ever done for me, ever," she whispered.

"I'm happy for you, _mei mei_," Inara said, kissing her cheek gently. "And as your older sister, for the purposes of this conversation, I would advise you to accept the declaration of his intentions."

"Oh, I'm acceptin'. You couldn't pry this thing outta my hands," Kaylee said fervently. "I'm gonna put it right where it's real visible and then I'm gonna drag him down into my bunk and demonstrate just exactly how happy I am with him right now. We might be gone all day."

Inara laughed. "Well, traditionally you'd just casually invite him to your house and let him see it on display somewhere, but I think he's going to like your way better."

"Ain't had any complaints yet." Kaylee beamed. She couldn't remember ever being so purely happy. " You an' the Cap'n, and Jayne and River, and me and Simon, all together an' happy... and Zoe and Wash talking about having a baby... This is just like a story, is what, and this is the happy ending part."

"Happy, certainly, but hardly an ending." Inara smiled. "More of a beginning, I should think. And if you're going to go thank Simon for his thoughtfulness, I think we'd better get that grease off your nose."

"Simon likes me when I have a dirty nose," Kaylee said happily. "But since this is a special occasion, I guess I'll wash it. An' the rest of me, too. Can I have just a little drop of your jasmine perfume, please?"

"For such a special occasion, _mei mei_, you could have the whole bottle." Inara kissed her cheek again. "Come on, let's make you pretty for Simon."

* * *

__

dong ma - you understand?

Wu dong - I understand

Ba ba - daddy

Ju guei - giant tortoise

xiao teng - little dragon

Da Ge oldest brother

Bu Jing Chuan - whale-hunting vessel, whale-chaser

Bu Lai - good, fine

You Xiu Li - Excellent Repairs

Hui zhen - Poisonous filth (I think)

Yao guai - monsters, demons

luan qi ba zao - a huge mess.

d sha gua - fool, idiot, jerk, or 'big silly melon'. (I swear, that's what the translation said!)

mei mei - little sister

ge ge - older brother

Feng Guang - Scenic View, the POW camp where Wash was held during the war.

Bao tu - thug

Pigu - ass

Jing Ai - respectful love

Go se - dog excrement

Bao bei - beloved, sweetheart

Zhan shi - fighter, warrior

Ni zi - little girl

* * *


End file.
